the book that is that "seven days but not" book is at the library so we're going to see how it is. I admit I'm already biased bc the author said that he wanted to do an "actual representation" and my hackles are UP, but #chirabookthread, let's go

also biased bc seven days was one of the first things I read serialized so I have a lot of tender feelings toward it, but as we know, there's no claim on fake dating but I sure am tired of people claiming their take is "the one true representative story" and they "need to fix" it

first off, it's a dare, which doesn't make sense on MULTIPLE levels, including there being /rules/ set for it??? except not one that he has to take the week of dating seriously??? so why would anyone participate??? they show us his not taking the first one at all seriously

he's just not allowed to "get tired" of dating. what does that even mean???

mmm, I'm going to keep writing style critique to this one tweet but oof, the combination of first-person and dialogue that already is "this is what I need to say so we can go into exposition" and choppy sentences is also really disruptive.

WAIT HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING A MODERN SCRIPT FOR ROMEO AND JULIET THAT IS DUE AT LUNCH AND HAS ZERO LINES FOR IT???????

followed by "how am I supposed to write romeo and juliet when I've never even dated"

UH MAYBE BECAUSE ROMEO AND JULIET IS BARELY A ROMANCE

"only my friends get to call me by a shortened version of my name as a reward for learning to pronounce my name correctly" this is W I L D

it's also not a like. anglicized nickname or shortening, it's an origin language-relevant one

it feels like issuefic

mc's friend is richie mc rich boy and upset his parents got him a mustang for his birthday bc it has QUACK IV as a vanity plate and idk about you but I would drive a car with that plate IN A HEARTBEAT

wait he has a crush on someone else???????

I'M SO TIRED

we introduce Eric "the gay one" F, in a "I heard Eric said he'd ask him out this week" line but then two seconds later "doesn't matter, I'm pretty sure he has a boyfriend now" WHICH IS IT this is only in service to make mc panic about being labeled as gay

the dare also has a deadline, and it's only been going on for two months, which at one person a week, is really only 8 people. everything about trying to make this setup work feels weird

seven days worked because the seven days was an internal timer that everyone else just assumed was a rule, no one knew the point behind it, but all knew that there was a seriousness to the week of dating

this there's no impetus for it to be serious at all???

oh no this author has never applied for college in america but it's also really easy to google timelines???? they're in like. march, and some senior is talking about how dating the ML is going to give her a perfect story that will get her off the waitlist to an ivy???

again, if everyone already knows that no one is taking this seriously, including the actual date week, that it's all a dare, then why the fuck is everyone so eager to do it???

mc and ml have detention, and ml is late to detention because he brought sandwiches.

two sandwiches.

mc wonders if ml knows it is his favorite sandwich or if it's just a coincidence HE BARELY KNOWS YOUR NAME, YOU TAKE A GUESS

I don't know why we keep dragging Eric "the gay one" F into this and "beating him to the punch" since they already said he has a boyfriend and thus wouldn't need to ask someone who isn't taking this seriously out

this has given surface level thought to its conflicts

"it'll be our secret, that is, if you want to fake date me for the next five days."

wait. WHAT???? secret fake dating???????

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?????

WHAT IS THE POINT OF FAKE DATING SECRETLY

THE WHOLE POINT OF FAKE DATING IS /FAKING DATING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE DATING/

ml is actually being very cool and chill about realizing he might be bi and has no problems dating a guy, but he's also being set up to be mary-sue-ish perfect and fair and accepting of every situation

mmmm oh boy this book is going to be "boy with v. religious upbringing and judgmental family comes to terms with coming out" and I'm more fussed than I thought I would be about the whole it's "more actual and realistic" than seven days SORRY NOT ALL GAY STORIES ARE TRAGEDY PORN

I'm still SO confused about this "fake dating secretly" thing - they have to spend time together for a drama assignment anyway, but any dating behavior (which we have no basis for existing on these weeks) would be secret for...what reason? moral fairness on the ML's part???

oh my god why is everyone so obsessed with romeo and juliet

1) pick another play
2) pick another shakespeare
3) IT'S NOT A ROMANCE

"why do you assume everyone you like is straight?"

""idk they just usually are. I mean isaac is dating a girl now"

BI. PEOPLE. EXIST.

okay, there's the pledge to be a perfect boyfriend for the week, which is the piece we were missing THIS ENTIRE TIME

I'm STILL trying to wrap my head around the combination of "secret dating" and "fake dating" but ahhhhh

there's a point in some issuefic where you stop and go oh no I know /entirely/ too much about the author's life just from this

that's exactly how this book feels already

wait how are you going to a diner for breakfast before school?????

I'm possibly being uncharitable because I'm already spiteful but there's a combination of bad dialogue and weird, misplaced asides the author seems to think replaces character portraits. like mini-exposition dumps that are so out of place.

like the mc gets driven home, and smack dab in between panic about if he's really going to go through with this is a paragraph on his house and why they moved.

which has. no bearing or impact on anything happening then.

CAN WE PLEASE STOP DESCRIBING ROMEO AND JULIET AS ROMANTIC

also if you just need to pick a scene from it to perform between two people there are SO MANY SCENES

also this is THE STUPIDEST nitpick, but the 90s movie adaptation of romeo and juliet isn't "Romeo and Juliet", it's "Romeo + Juliet"

GET IT RIGHT, GOD

""well you can be romeo, and I can be juliet." he raises an eyebrow. "or vice versa, whichever you prefer."

I choke trying not to laugh"

Is...is this supposed to be innuendo???? legitimate question I don't know

"just because it's romeo and juliet doesn't actually mean we have to be romeo and juliet"

FINALLY SOME SENSE

"You work in the library?"

"yeah, you would know that if you ever went there"

"hey, I like reading, I just prefer comics over books"

THE LIBRARY HAS COMICS TOO OH MY GODAL;SEKRUASLDFJ

I'm also very surprised everyone is just accepting the ML's declaration that his date this week is a secret, given that it's...a dare...with winning and losing conditions and people wanted him to lose at one point???

one of the losing conditions was if he didn't have a date???

and OF COURSE the deadline that was DEFINITELY LUNCH MONDAY NO EXTENSIONS, SORRY, TIME MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT has now been extended to Friday, conveniently the end of this secret fake dating week

I am so tired

"for most students, lunchtime dentention means being sent to this quad and staring at a wall in silence"

W H A T

no. nO WHAT???? I will admit I never had detention but this seems wrong???????

WHO IS ENFORCING THIS? also they had lunchtime detention before sorting props???

more weird nitpicks but

"what's your email address?"

"My name at Gmail dot com"

???? you are fictional characters there was no reason for this???

there are parts of this that want to be really charming and I want to let them, but I think that even without bias it would still fall flat and I'm a little sad

I wish it were just them being drama partners for the week? those parts are so much stronger than the fake dating bits

I'm also more peeved than I should be about the immediate jump from "he's definitely straight" to "is he gay because he held my hand and hasn't held anyone else's? but his text said he wasn't gay" AGAIN. BI PEOPLE EXIST.

there's a scene where he watches The Gay Kid(TM) kiss his boyfriend in a parking lot to "show the homophobes" and thinks that he wants to be just like him when he grows up

buddy. you're the same age.

we've also been constantly setting up the ML as excessively perfect, like king of the school, forward of the soccer team, has a bunch of asshole friends but tells them off, coaches the middle school team in his off-hours and again, I'm tired

the MC is Closeted Gay Angst and the ML is Perfect Golden Boy and I don't know any traits beyond those?

there's also the whole thing of "I'll come out when I'm in college" and "I just need to make it through high school"

a lot of home situations don't change with college? you keep harping on this being a whole society-rooted thing/fear; college is part of society

taking a break as it starts to get So Very Issuefic and I need to go do something else for a bit lmao

ALRIGHT I'm back for about an hour before turning in to bed, let's see how far into this I can get before then; I've now had many conversations on why this makes me so mad and why it's all because the author said his story was "more realistic"

we also talked a bit about the college breakpoint and why it's so prevalent and why it needs a strong reason for /why/ college will be different and how that's just not here in this

UGH I forgot I put it down right as it was getting super issuefic and "I hate that you have to hide, I never realized how scary coming out is" "yeah, eric [The Gay One (TM)] is so brave"

I'M TIRED

WAIT /WHAT/

mc is about to ask "the question that needs to be asked", says "Are you--" gets cut off by a call, ML has to go to the hospital, but before he does says

"And to answer your question, I think I might be"

BE /WHAT/?? BE /WHAT/?? gay? falling in love? a serial killer?

THAT'S LAZY FUCKING WRITING AND YOU KNOW IT

we know it's lazy because there are about four different questions it could plausibly be from the setup so far and about A THOUSAND OTHERS IT MIGHT BE also HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS GOING TO ASK????

we're apparently calling /that/ a confession, and they have only been secret fake dating (WHICH I STILL HATE) for three days now but we're at kissy-face emojis. we're only halfway in which means the gay angst is about to hit hard and I am Not looking forward to it

oh no, the romeo and juliet retelling is back, complete with "I hate the ending I've written, but I don't know how to fix it"

MAYBE BECAUSE ROMEO AND JULIET IS A TRAGEDY AND IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC ENDING?????????

y'know, this could've been just another nice, mediocre first novel that still would've been bad writing but I wouldn't have been /mad/ about it, but the author had to call out seven days and try and be "right"

being rude and this bad is just an affront

and now we're on issuefic about mixed race life

my thing with issuefic is they are important topics but always so hamhanded with them to the point of spiraling off on multiple paragraphs when they were just talking about an outfit

okay, if you ignore their dialogue, this date is cute. that apparently /was/ the confession and they're dating for real now so yay. we get half the book dedicated to coming-out angst. whee. so fun.

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF SECRET FAKE DATING IF IT WAS ONLY GOING TO LAST THREE DAYS

I have such tonal whiplash; his friends ALREADY knew, but then we don't see any resolution from them finding him and ML on a date, and just SKIP STRAIGHT TO THE NEXT DAY???

I also haven't mentioned this before, but there is an extremely flamboyant drama teacher who keeps going on and on about her time on tv and the stage and is just So Needlessly Extra and I have the weirdest sense of secondhand embarrassment from her

"I pull out my reimagining of Romeo and Juliet - a gay love story."

who ever would have guessed.

"how did I end up with a son who hates church"

very very easily

I am SO FUCKING CONFUSED - the antagonist (aside from general closeted gay angst) is this girl who OBSESSED with the ML for...unknown reasons, to the point of showing up at a concert for a band she doesn't like just to try to catch some gossip???

she has been hounding the MC trying to ask him who the ML is dating this week instead of...literally anyone else, and now just took a photo of the MC standing alone for this concert for...WHAT REASON??? the ML is parking the car and is nowhere in sight

"are we dating?"

UH YES I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT

beyond that AGAIN the whole thing was before the week ended, they confessed and were both like "I want this to continue, for real" so I don't know why it's here NOW other than we needed drama

I'm so tired we keep blatantly stealing BL tropes as well as from other properties and just rolling it around in a crust of gay angst and WE DESERVE BETTER

ah yes good, great, there's the blackmail photo of them kissing and slurs and fighting and the "the BK I know isn't gay"

if you're going to steal all these tropes do something interesting with them at least

oh my god so the ML's best friend has a blackmail photo of them kissing and then the MC's mom finds the photo strip they took on their date because HIS MOTHER WENT THROUGH HIS DESK??? despite earlier saying that his parents respected his privacy and his room was his own space

there's just so much drama for drama's sake and a big heaping of angst and trauma sundaes and I said it once I'LL SAY IT AGAIN THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAPPY GAY STORIES, gay happy endings don't have to be "earned"

yyyyyyyyyyyyyep there it is, there's the lack of acceptance from his religious family and the dealing with this alone that I was dreading

I'm trying to think of what I'm going to read tonight after this to wash this bitter angst out of my mouth

I think what's getting me is that the characters really don't have much agency about their coming out - they keep getting dragged through situation through situation and stress after stress just for the sake of "yet another coming out"

I don't like this. a big, four paragraph-long impromptu speech to his parents about how he's gay but is still their son and the mom clutches her cross and leaves. I just. you can't be both a 90's rom-com pastiche and have this much gay trauma

the whole thing about rom-coms is that you always know that the happy ending is coming, that everything will work out. and maybe that's not "realistic", but I don't care. you don't read happy, tropey stories for realism, you want that fantasy of control over bad situations

HOLY SHIT we're still reeling from the parent drama and they get to school for the school newspaper to OUT THEM BOTH in a stunning invasion of privacy and made up facts

also how is The Gay Kid (TM) the founder of their school's LGBT club, he's a senior, that's less than 4 years

how the FUCK did the school newspaper agree to run a story outing SOMEONE ELSE who did not consent to the article (completely ignoring the fact that the pictures in it were taken saturday and the paper passed around monday morning) I'M /LIVID/

this is just a trauma parade and I'm tired. there's no space to recover from any of these incidents, either for the characters or the reader THE WHOLE FUCKING REASON WHY SEVEN DAYS WAS GOOD WAS BECAUSE IT /WASN'T/ ANGSTY in a genre that was mostly angst at that point

every single chance at coming out keeps getting stolen from the MC - from the boy he's dating, from his friends, from his parents/family, from his boyfriend's family, from his school. every single one. he has zero agency

I'M SO FUCKING TIRED

so MC gets outed at school via newspaper, gets homophobic comments, needs some space

days later, ML posts their photo on instragram (coming out, essentially), MANY LIKES, lots of "so cute!" and "I ship it!"

I don't /think/ it's meant to be a jab at fujoshi, but given everything else it SURE FEELS LIKE ONE

S I G H

yep, MC gets all agency taken from him, ML gets to make his choice

WELL COOL THAT'S THE END FUCKING FINALLY I'm mad I had to read this to defend seven days' honor

WE ALSO NEVER GOT A RESOLUTION TO THE ENDLESS ROMEO AND JULIET THING

I've said it a couple times throughout, but no lgbtq story is "more valid" or "more authentic" or "more valuable" than any other, and pain and trauma and angst and fear doesn't make an lgbtq story "better"

the whole glory of seven days was that it was a story that just got to be a love story at a time when the genre, both BL and western YA, were angst-ridden and centered around crises of sexuality, and that seven days /wasn't/, that it got to focus on their love, was the point

we were talking earlier and to look at seven days and go "okay, but make it ~*~authentic~*~" and to go to this parade of trauma and angst feels like a step backward

I will say that aside from the summary, nothing about this book is like seven days. seven days, the characters actually had personalities, and that was THE POINT. even the week is set up differently and everything about it is ineffectual

JUST READ SEVEN DAYS INSTEAD

I ALSO JUST REALIZED that they're graduating soon, MC is going to college in NYC, ML is going to UCLA, HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK???