CW: murder of autistic kids.

When an autistic child is murdered by their parent, what you should absolutely NOT say is any variant of "I suspect the parent is autistic too, and their inability to emotionally regulate is what caused them to murder their child."

I don't think that was the exact same wording that the person used (I blocked them and am unwilling to back and look at the tweet again) but I think it's very close.

But uh...
- jumping to assuming the murderer of a minority must also be part of that minority, rather than acknowledging systems of power at play and how often majorities harm / kill minorities
- stereotyping autistic people (some of us do struggle with emotional regulation, but

it isn't a thing for all autistic people, and the overwhelming majority of those who do struggle with it would never murder anyone because of it)
- speculating without evidence about a murder...

None of these are remotely ok.

I cannot express how much I hate it when people jump to the (deeply prejudiced and very often inaccurate) conclusion that someone who does harm to minorities must themself be secretly part of that minority, and self-hating / unable to cope so harming other members of the group.

Another example of it is when someone is virulently homophobic, and lots of people will say things like, "He must be gay, no-one would be that homophobic unless they were secretly gay themselves."
Bruh have you met straight people, a lot of 'em are straight up pros at homophobia.

You don't need to respond to homophobia by blaming it on gay people, by assuming that the homophobe must be gay and self-hating rather than acknowledging that, while that can happen, there is a much larger system of straight people being relentlessly homophobic and hating gay

people and getting away with it to the point where they can be incredibly blatant about it. You could have some damned accountability for straight culture and its homophobia instead of immediately trying to portray any especially blatant homophobe as gay people's problem.

I know that's not the same situation but it is another example of the way people will immediately push the idea that someone who does harm to a minority (group) must themselves be part of that minority, rather than taking accountability for majority cultures' relentless violence.

It blames minorities for the harm done to us. It frames violence against us as something coming from us, something we're doing to ourselves, something that is therefore our problem to solve. It allows majorities to avoid self-examination, individually and as cultures.

And that's my point here.
While it is certainly possible that Dylan's mother is autistic (that's always possible), there is no reason to jump to any particular conclusion about that without evidence (which this person did not seem to have). So, jumping to that conclusion is

deeply suspicious to me, and, especially when combined with the stereotype about autistic people, reeks of prejudice. I don't know whether the person who said this was autistic or allistic, I didn't check, I just blocked them. Either way, it is a hell of a bad take in response to

the murder of a marginalised child to jump to portraying the murderer as part of the same community, without presenting any evidence whatsoever.

I am angry. I am so angry that people respond to violence against us by trying to distance majorities from it and blame it on us.

Maybe she's autistic, maybe she's allistic. Maybe it doesn't matter either way because she murdered her child and that's despicable regardless of neurotype.
But assuming she's autistic based on a stereotype about autistic people is definitely a bad thing to do. No maybe about it.