i didn't go into Alita: Battle Angel expecting to like it. it seemed like a perfect A-List viewing, a film i could stumble into after a tiring day of work and let run through my brain like water through a colander. i could never ever ever have guessed what was about to happen

i had known for years that i was trans. but it wasn't the kind of knowledge that accompanies action. i let it fester in my brain, lying to myself over and over that one day soon i'd deal with it. the much more likely truth was that one day sooner i'd be dead

i thought i was comfortable, you know? i had a steady, shitty job. i had very sweet friends. i had my writing. more than that, i had conviction that this detente could last

i had conviction that i'd never have to scrub the mold off and look the problem right in the face and put a Self together

i walked into the theater, scraggly face and baggy clothes, absolutely clueless what i was about to see

anyway,

you guys wanna watch my favorite movie?

so i said this at the time partially out of boisterous exaggeration but now i truly truly believe it: i think Rosa Salazar gives the best film performance ever in this. like ever ever. i have never seen anything like her work here, and i will absolutely get into why tonight

that's what it's like yeah

do you remember the first time you saw yourself in the mirror? bc when i first saw this scene, i hadn't yet. it felt like i was the reflected image of this other person i didn't recognize, a trick of the light in a sheet of glass

she's trying her best

one of the central tensions of the film is between Alita's journey towards actualization and Ido's desire for her to fulfill the role he assigns her. but at first these perspectives are flipped: Alita looks to her parent for identity, and Ido prods her to look inwards

for the sake of time i'm not going to post too many clips, so i can't share with you the whispered rasp in Salazar's voice in the opening scenes, like she hasn't spoken in centuries, or similarly her clumsy, tentative movements and strange expressions

it's actually the bloody toil and sacrifice of the proletariat but yknow, also engineering. we'll get there

also small note but the order of this shot/reverse is a great touch

when Ido gives her the name Alita, it's a sweet moment, but it's also immediately conditional: she accepts only temporarily, until she figures out her true self. (spoiler: her true self is not a memory to be unlocked but a determined, purposeful amalgamation of influences!!!)

me vs the followers who have already muted me tonight

more important than what the body remembers is what a mind free of conditioning chooses to do with it. it's not about hard-coded "truth" but choices and wills. but that's just imho. i m humble o

this is where i get a little conditional myself, btw. Hugo's actor is just not great throughout, and i know for some people he sunk the whole film. i do think, though, that his lack of charisma actually makes Alita's instantaneous fixation on him much more meaningful

this was the line, sitting in the theater for that first viewing, that really made me sit up straight

the headfake that Ido might be a murderer doesn't last for long, but it's a key moment in Alita's maturation, the first moment you realize that your parents keep secrets from you

this is what getting clocked is like lol. the way people freeze, and then try to disguise the fact they've frozen, but whatever interaction you had just been having is over, they're too distracted studying you, trying to figure out how you're fooling them

Chiren is one of the few major characters who's original to the film, and she's a really key piece. giving Ido a foil to bounce off of, instantly revealing his insecurities and the things truly driving him, is just really smart

something subtle to look out for is how Alita's outfits change as the film goes on, from the baggy, neutral clothes Ido first gives her to his late daughter's innocently fem looks to more brazen and unique ones like my fave: the trenchcoat assassin

after i first saw the film, i went home and a few days later bought girl clothes online for the first time. then i saw the film again while i waited for them to arrive. the third time i saw it in theaters, i wore some underneath male sweaters and jeans.

it felt exciting, and dangerous, and for the first time i really *got* what transition would mean for me, beyond just knowing i was experiencing dypshoria. to quote another classic trans sci-fi film, it's the difference between knowing the path and walking the path

more Salazar performance notes: her posture in this scene is so so great. poking her head forward to make sure she hears Hugo's every word, but it also seems like she's bowled over that the thing Ido stopped her from watching on tv is something she can participate in herself

it's clever filmmaking to introduce us to the rules of motorball on a very small scale, and it's also important to Alita's arc for the exact same reason. it's when she first realizes that the things Ido forbids her from aren't unreachable, they're out there waiting for her

it happens. it will happen to you

"lebron would never survive in this era"

again we gotta talk about POSTURE, Salazar is physically loose and wily in a way actors just never ever are. her performance feels untrained in the best possible way, free of the limitations of received wisdom and played-out practices

the other (smaller) reason that Hugo's subplot works for me is how well it sells the idea of him imposing his aspirations and understanding of the world on Alita, who he knows comes from Zalem, even though she has no reason to share his belief in its majesty

rate my bloodborne oc

Rodriguez's action direction is really really spectacular. even as the scale ramps up, he always strikes a great balance between inventive dynamism and clean, gentle camera movement

also yeah this movie is like ABSURDLY violent lol, it's wild what they let slide on a PG-13 as long as you throw some gears in there and the blood is blue

thank you to my amazing gf for keeping ppl aware of what was going on last night. i was so moved by all the supportive comments i saw. i’m back and unsuspended, but i’m at work for another 6 hours or so. the thread will resume as soon as possible after that! https://twitter.com/HannahYoleau/status/1296589956148793346

we're back!!!

Grewishka is another character who doesn't originate from the manga. he's based on a character with the same name from the 90s OVA adaptation, and his arc in the film is based mainly on Makaku, the manga's first primary antagonist

Makaku is animalistic and despicably cruel, but there's a desperation to Grewishka's viciousness that i really find compelling. for all his boastful pride, there's always this sense of compensation for inadequacy

this is it. the line that cracked me in half. it gave voice to a feeling that i didn't even really understand, the harsh buzzing background noise of my entire life. whose body is this? what is this machine i'm operating? whose eyes do i live behind? not my own.

whose body is this? who am i? i've seen the film ten times at least and it still rings my soul like a gong.

my parents were accepting of me when i came out. but it would be a lie to say they understood, or that there wasn't any friction. to me, things finally felt coherent. to them, it felt like the life they had built for me was being thrown away in favor of something terrifying

(also worth mentioning that in the manga, Alita's name is Gally, and it comes from Ido's old and male pet cat, so it's more a gag than anything else)

anyway, it's so important here that the film is clear about Ido's perception of Alita and has her reject it. Alita can't be his way of having a daughter again. it doesn't mean she can't love him, but she cannot accept her definition of him. their relationship is really nuanced!

Ido is such a dad!!!!!!!

now she knows whose body this is, and that it isn't hers. but that knowledge alone isn't enough............... she comes as close as she can to breaking the mirror, but something is still holding her back

Nova, the manga's main villain, appears here almost entirely by possessing Grewishka and Vector. he seems far from the cackling mad scientist he originally was, though. both Haley and Ali give him a mannered, silky tone that implies the high society he here represents

this is another key change! the manga's Nova is a Zalem exile like Ido, here he not only resides there full-time but seems to be in a position of authority. i think this clarifies the story's class themes significantly

It's Time

the Motorball sequences are astonishing! they have such furious speed and momentum, but again Rodriguez keeps the action crisp and fluid

they should invent an award that's better than an oscar for Rosa Salazar. they should give her Triple-Strength S+ Rank Special Oscar That We Only Ever Make One Of

Vector reveals his favorite west coast rapper from the 2000s

here we go

i used to think that i could never transition. i wanted to have a girl body, of course. but i wanted to be in one, not for the body i had to morph into one. this body, this one, its mass and its gravity, wasn't mine. i didn't want even the memory of it

coming out means coming to terms with the fact that this can never be. you are not your body. no one is their body. for better and for worse, your body belongs to you. and if you want, you can make it more like you

it took a long time for me to find peace with that idea. and now, i couldn't be happier with the progress i've made in terms of my appearance. but it took years to accept that i was capable of change

do you like what you see when you look in the mirror?

then break it

my favorite film of all time. all of time.

this is probably the best coming out scene i've ever seen

Salazar is incredible here, obviously, but i want to talk about Waltz as well. the way his initial awkwardness and attempts to paper over the situation give way to open contempt for the body Alita knows is hers is so, so powerful

Trenchcoat Alita is so important

you will never guess why she's called that

if you don't have love in your heart for this movie, i don't think you've got any love in there at all

she's so cool. the subtext of this whole thread is honestly just "god she's so cool"

she's so cool. i can't breathe she's so cool

you know what just watch the whole scene. you've had a long week. you owe it to yourself to watch this whole scene

this detail, where Alita seems to think of her tough-girl line before she says it, or perhaps she finds it in a memory, is so unique and so so great. other blockbusters would never have a moment so strange and revealing and genuine

more direct Makaku influence, but that character's origin was meant to induce terror and disgust. there's some actual pathos to Grewishka, though not so much that Alita's line here fails to land

but why does Alita follow Grewishka down here in the first place? it's obviously heroic, but the equivalent scene in the manga has Makaku kidnap a baby and a dog. here, Alita isn't saving anyone. so why does she pursue?

to me this scene is far more about recklessness. she thinks she can beat Grewishka, of course. but a part of her is driven by a self-destructive impulse.

if she can't have the body she needs, then she'll destroy the body she has

alright here's the coolest part of the movie. really of any movie

are you ready

here it comes

Alita: Battle Angel

folks it's taken me uhhhhh threeeeeeee hours to get through, lemme see here, about 45 minutes of this film. i am very tired and unfortunately i need to take another break. i will pick back up tomorrow, and hopefully finish!!!! thank you all for your love and support <3