Fellas. Listen.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not gay to take care of your body.
You CAN good-hygiene your way into some p*ssy.
Ladies, help me out here.

Here are a few tips:
-Get real soap. Not that old spice body soap/head soap/car soap/dish soap shit. @DrSquatchSoapCo has great bar soap
-Get real shampoo. The kind that doesn’t dry your scalp and actually leaves your hair smelling good. @SlicksJohnny has some phenomenal scents.

-Wash your fucking legs. I just learned this isn’t a thing evidently? Yeah idk man just wash your fucking legs.
-Wash your face. And not with the same bar of soap you just rubbed on your asshole bc you also don’t use a loofa or wash rag. @cerave is a good place to start.

-Next, and I know y’all ain’t considered this one, moisturize your skin. That includes your dick. Women don’t want to feel like they’re sucking on a piece of chalk, man. Knock it off. @cerave for that too.

I promise, just do these couple of things, and like, maybe shave your balls once in a while, and you’re already in like the top 10% of dudes on hygiene. Also, women will be impressed if they see @cerave in your apartment. Idk why, but just trust me on this one.

I use both of these and I catch myself getting a whiff of my hair throughout the day and it always causes me to literally yell in surprise because I smell so gat damn good

Here’s the @DrSquatchSoapCo soap I use. It smells so good I sometimes want to actually take a bite out of the soap. I don’t, but I want to.

This is called a razor. I use it for my face and for my junk. But listen, here’s the kicker; I don’t use the same blade. Idk sum bout shaving my huevos and then my chin w the same blade don’t sit right w me. But do you kings

And finally, this is the shit I rub on my face and the rest of my body. But listen. Hear me out. When you get to your wiener, just rub it in and then stop. It’ll feel nice, but have some self control, man.