My Gender, a Thread:

I have struggled with what I am about to say since I was old enough to think on my own.

But as my life has gone on, this has been affecting me more prominently and after coming out as Pan and finally uttering the words to certain people, I'm ready to say it

I do not think and feel Male and to not identify as Male. I am fully aware i have a male body. Don't get me wrong, I do not identify as female either, which took a long time to realise.

I have felt ashamed of this for almost 20 years and up until 2 days ago, I felt like I was

Just built incorrectly. Minds and emotions are complicated things and still I am in the process of working out who and what I am.

But one thing I know, is that keeping this in, and not accepting myself was going to end up killing me. Denying it has led to Manic episodes

And I spent many years and up until last week self harming to try and punish myself for what my heart and mind were feeling.

After speaking to people, I feel as if I identify as Agender, but I don't know if I wish to label myself so officially. But I would prefer to be called

They/Them.

I am not writing this to ask for Validation from anyone. And to be honest, if you find this post offensive or upsetting, then I do mot want you anywhere near me.

But I am Pauli, I can't change who I am and I won't be ashamed of myself for being the way I am

If you are reading this and still want to be my friend and interact with me as normal then that would be good.

I'm learning to love myself in more ways then one.

I hope you just accept me as I am and I know there's probably questions you have and if you want to ask, ask

I just want you all to know, I'm really thankful for your messages of support

I'm trying to get around to replying to everyone

But I'm feeling a bit emotional

you and thank you