I posted a pic of myself when I was a kid today and good memories popped in my head. I just looked at the same pic and all I can think about is the fact that I was being molested by an older cousin at the time and fuck man. That shit really just fucked with my head. Fuck him.

It went on for years and I was fucking terrified. The fact that my family really acted and continues to act like it never happened is funny as hell to me. I was in therapy for awhile after it came out. I was so terrified to talk about it I remember at one session I peed on the

therapist couch because I was so scared. As much as I tried to push all of that shit out of my mind, it still sticks with me till this very fucking day. Like a bitch can’t even form fucking relationships with people because I’m terrified. I want to get married and have a family

but you can’t even trust family. I don’t trust anyone. I’m literally playing a role of someone who has their shit together but I don’t. I truly don’t. Fuck.

And this is pulling out all sorts of memories that I fucking forgot about. Jesus fucking Christ. I was molested by two cousins during the same time and a few years later my aunts boyfriend. Just fucking kill me. Fucking fuck.

I’ll most likely delete this thread when I wake up. But I just needed space to write this and get it off my chest.