watching @QuincyBeoulve play #TotalWarTroy has me thinkin bout how the Iliad does a phenomenal job detailing the personalities of alllll the heroes fighting on the Greek side, despite the size of the cast.

And so, I started A List of Ancient Greeks in the Iliad as Pro Wrestlers. https://twitter.com/empiricallyric/status/1294528854133014529

Agamemnon is Hulk Hogan; ostensibly the biggest face on the Greek side, but a total heel behind the scenes, and an absolute coward who would never fight unless he was guaranteed victory or otherwise protected.

(I also compared him to Zapp Brannigan. Zappgamemnon.)

Menelaus is totally loyal, never switched companies, also pretty unambitious, never went into business for himself. An absolute force to be reckoned with. So I keep coming back to the Undertaker for him

Telemonian Ajax is the biggest Greek and he is the softest boi. Andre the Giant. The man who refused to say bad things about Hulk Hogan in a promo because his mother told him to only say nice things about people or say nothing at all.

Diomedes, tho. the man literally stabbed Aphrodite. the only Greek with a confirmed stabbing on a deity in the entire Iliad. definitely the most fearless of the Greeks.

So I wanna say Diomedes is Mick Foley, but with less damaging his own body. Tentative.

Achilles? is absolutely Bret Hart. The excellence of execution, betrayed by his own commander.
This one just hit me all at once and I can't gainsay it.

Odysseus was an all-around ace, but did his best work on the mic (in an era when most wrestlers got by on their muscle). Totally came across as a jerk but it turns out was really steadfast and a deeply thoughtful dude. Which is why I keep coming back to Roddy Piper for him.

Others I'm way less certain of, like Ajax the Lesser (Oilean Ajax). Extremely skilled and accurate with a spear, 2nd fastest behind Achilles, one of the greatest assets the Greeks had… except totally overshadowed by bigger guys. The Cruiserweight king. So, Ricky Steamboat?

And like, Nestor? Who was a really long-lived, non-heel manager? I feel like all the great and long-lasting managers of that era were heels. The closest I can come to a long-lasting advisor-type person on the side of 'good' is Gorilla Monsoon. Not a _great_ fit, though.

and yes, these are all WWF guys from the 80s–early 90s, that's just what i grew up with. I haven't even covered Troy, who could all be WCW guys…

Would Flair be Paris and Hector be Sting? Especially thinking about how both Proud Hector and Sting went out, essentially jobbing for the other side and receiving a career-ending injury (and an undignified end).

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