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Y’all wanna know what it feels like to be me? Well imagine never really wanting to y’all ever but being known as the talkative friend because growing up you never had friends Cos you were shy and once you spoke up you got friends and so you thought talking= friends/ppl liking you
And so now you overcompensate/make sure you’re not too quiet by talking a lot and then it grows from endearing to annoying—by then your family comments on how much you talk which makes you want to shut up even more but you don’t know how to go back to that person anymore Cos you
Associate talking with being nice and being quiet as a rude bitch with no friends. But it’s also Cos when you’re in your room you never talk and so once you’re out with people it’s like all those hours that you weren’t talking are not being made up for there but the hangout with
Friends turns into you talking 45% of the time and because of that you go home thinking “man I wish I had shut the fuck up” but no you didn’t so joe you gotta have the post-hangout anxiety and decide to not talk to friends to make up for the hours that you DID talk and then go to
Bed wondering what your life would be like if you had never talked to anyone—would be nice? Would people act differently around you? Would you not have this expectation to be the bubbly and over the top friend? Would you not be labelled as the talkative/chatty person in your fam?
So you try your best to not talk ever and some days you slip up and you talk so much that someone points it out and so you kick yourself Cos you didn’t plan on doing that and tell yourself that next time you won’t do it again so it won’t feel awkward for everyone
Ahahah ain’t that a fun time?? To think it was around the time that I threw a bday party and invited friends and nome of them showed up! But I hung outside my house waiting for them! .(:
