This is the story of how teaching your daughter to drive will drive you insane.
This evening, I was out with my daughter getting her learners permit hours, and she was so focused on checking oncoming traffic that she hit the left curb of a turn-off lane. /1 of 7

15 minutes later, the tire pressure light comes on. So at 11 pm, I am out to go put air in what I'm guessing will be the front left tire. It takes 20 minutes to find a working air pump, and then I run out of change and I have to go get $3 more in quarters. /2

I'm finally getting air in the tire when Paula calls me, and I miss the call because both hands are on the air hose because they never seal unless you do f***ing yoga poses. I pull out my phone, put it on the hood on speaker, and explain what's taking so long. /3

The pump runs out. I curse. I put another dollar in the godforsaken air pump, and get all the tires up to pressure. And then, I drive home. Except I forgot my phone is on the hood. /4

I get home, and reach for the phone as I get out of the car, except the phone is not there, and I remember what I did, and in a stream of profanity I drive back to the gas station. The phone is not there. /5

I try using the Apple watch to ping the phone, and it is not in range. So I slowly drive back toward the house, trying to watch when my waguagetch repairs with the phone.
I get a block from the house when I see a light in the gutter. /6

It is the light on my phone, which I was using as a flashlight to check the air gauge on the m******* air hose. The phone made it on the hood for 3/4 of a mile before flying into the gutter on my last turn. It is intact. /7