Damn. So here I am wondering why people get so tough about popular women getting harassed, or certain people getting harassed and giving them protection over others, and it hit me...
the men are protecting as a way of keeping the women in their place
does that make sense?

I'm not sure how to explain this.
It keeps women dependent on men.

That's why they won't rally around me. They don't see me as someone that knows my place. I don't pacify them, or have even the emotional capacity to tend to my mentions w encouraging words. I don't serve them.

I'm not the type of feminine person that will write feel good shit, I don't serve men in any way shape or form, not emotionally, not in any way. I struggle as a disabled person to meet emotional needs of my friends. It makes sense why would they protect me? I'm not useful.

Wow so i see protection dofferently now, it's very much like @monaeltahawy says, she doesn't want protection she wants freedom (hope I'm getting that right.)

So i have this revelation that they choose who they protect based on how much they serve men and how useful they are...

...that's not the life I want. I do not want to serve men. I do not serve them now, and I never will. So I guess I do not get their protection.

also, I think I do well with my friends and fulfilling their emotional needs. I hope. I love a good reciprocal relationship, and I have a lot of love to give

I thank my wonderful friends for always being there...the few of you