i have been thinkin' about radicalization and how it intersects with that (hopefully) myth that i've been told growing up that "i'll stop caring as much about politics"/"these particular issues will be less important" as i grow up

what does it mean for my parents who used to actively fight for these things (redistributing wealth, racial equality, albeit with the French layer over top) but just don't fight for that anymore?

they have less intense beliefs now: "the president sucks/rich people are too rich/treat everyone equally" compared to things that i've been reading about (dialectical materialism, the fraudulent politics of the electoral college, neocolonialism)

i know my parents are smart and critical. how did they not come to the same conclusions i'm trying to come to, in their own country? or, did they?
the fear i have is that they saw these particular things and decided it was unachievable and did not advocate further

that's an expression of privilege and is one i have access to. will i become that?
i have a hard enough time motivating myself to get out of the house sometimes.
where is the balance? how do i advocate?
i am scared.

i want to clarify that this is not me saying that the kinds of things i'd like to see happen and the things i contribute to (mutual aid etc) are unachievable. i think they are very achievable. i just wish i could see who i'll be in ten years.

gonna delete this thread in a few minutes.