Everybody always thinks California is so liberal but you’ve never met a conservative/libertarian like an LA conservative/libertarian. They’re always smoking cigars and listening to classic rock and they’ve been wearing the same cargo shorts since the 90s

They’re either old enough to be bitter about all the times underage girls ignored them at the Sunset Strip in the 70s or they’re young enough to just bitch at Gavin Newsom all day long on Twitter

Every other LA comedian is this guy.

They always lack the nerve to actually move out of LA, though. They know they are not made for any other cities and they aren’t self-sufficient enough for the country, despite their dreams of being so. They also want to be famous/rich, and are bitter that they aren’t.

They always want to tell you about the time they were a roadie

They’re probably at least slightly suspicious of Jews but they fucking love Jerry’s, Langer’s, and Canter’s

Obviously they are not always like this, my dad has always leaned more conservative/libertarian but is a genuinely good, kind guy. He definitely knows some guys like this, though. It’s impossible not to.

My sister used to work at a diner near the Greek and these guys used to eat there and yell at her for asking if she could take their plate, or come in with designer drugs and much younger women

They might eventually move out to orange county or Ventura if they have the money? But they can’t all be Joe Rogan or Adam Carolla, and they hate that they can’t.

Or they might go to DC and go bald and become extremely influential in imprisoning children

They talk about how much they fucking hate Hollywood but would give anything to be famous and rich

I don’t understand why most of them don’t move to Florida, there are a lot of guys like them there