I'm going to tell a stupid personal story. It's about a food processor, but it's about so, so much more than that.

My mum never listens when we say no. We being my sister and I, but it probably extends to other people. I want to say I don't know that she's aware of this, but we've told her so many times she must.

Usually it's small things. No, please don't cook for me, I'm an adult. Or no, please don't take phone calls which are mine. Or no, please don't touch this thing of mine.

Small things have a way of getting bigger and bigger the more they happen. And these things, they're pretty big now. And sometimes, they're big to start with. No, please don't share this information with other people, is pretty serious to start with.

So recently I bought a food processor. It's kind of cool, but it's also a huge pain because it has loads of tiny pieces. Anyway I was setting it up and it wasn't connecting, so I told her multiple times not to touch it and that I'd be back.

I went to look at the instructions on my computer and when I came back she was messing with it. It was the thing that broke me.

I started yelling. Actually yelling. I can definitely snap at people but full on shouting doesn't happen all that often. And she got really defensive and marched off, which is also a pattern of behaviour with her that gets old really fast.

So today it wouldn't start even though it did the other day when I used it. Like I said, it's a headache. And I said please do not touch this. All this to say I'm now at my desk with a vital part of said food processor hidden in the drawer, because I don't trust her not to.

It's stupid and honestly funny that I've gone to the lengths to hide this piece. Why do I care about a freaking food processor. And I don't really. I wouldn't care if she was going to actually use it, but she's not. She just can't listen to a no.

And yeah there will be people who say "but she's just helping," but she's not. She's really, really not. And these are conversations I and others have had time and time again. I've been angry, I've been calm. I've been understanding. Nothing, nothing at all changes the behaviour.

Right now it's a pointless, insignificant food processor. But other times it's big stuff, stuff that actually matters.

She's not a bad person, and I don't want this really to be about her. More about how it makes me feel, and how these kinds of things actually do mess with people after years of it.

And I don't know what it does to me, but something. I hate when I say no and people don't respect it, to the point where it can push me into being pretty intense really fast. So that makes the whole "no, don't touch me," then people grabbing me really miserable to deal with.

All this to say it does have an impact on my life. Because my no is rarely viewed as important by strangers. And add it to all of this. It's a lot.

I realise that I should probably be telling this story to a therapist, instead of the internet. But I also think we all need to be honest with how things make us feel. And sometimes, if the person who needs to change won't listen, just saying it can help.