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Not that long ago I told my siblings about being a system and my younger sister especially seems to not want to acknowledge it? And idk how I feel abt that- bc on one hand I don't want special treatment & idk if I want to be referred to by name or w/e.
I guess I would be fine if she acknowledged that yk, a conversation with me yesterday might not have exactly been with me. She just kinda plays dumb or avoids using any name for me & stuff like that. I get being afraid to ask even tho I said it's always fine. It's just that
over text she'll either be like "oh okay" if I bring up a system thing & we've talked abt it, like she understands the concept & knows that I forget stuff & why but I can tell that outside of that, it feels weird acknowledging me as several ppl. I'm supposed to be 1 sibling yk?
Sometimes I feel kinda wrong bc I can't be that. I always pretended but having friends & doctors & w/e that knew but still pretending w my siblings just felt like lying. That's why I felt like I kinda had to tell them, bc I'm close to them.
And it's like, she literally treats us differently. With my cohost she seems slightly intimidated sometimes but usually comfortable & happy around him & wants his approval a lot. She'll bring up different conversation topics with us or appeal to interests we've maybe talked
about like, over text. She obviously knows we're not the same person & I know these things take getting used to but idek what I even want. So how can she know wtf I want? I mean maybe I'm just afraid of making her feel weird & not even thinking abt what I want.
I mean calling her a new name felt weird at first but now I'm used to it.
Maybe I'm worried it's just making people cater to my mental illness in a way they shouldn't have to? Also change is scary & this is different. It's not like a gender thing, it's changing
Maybe I'm worried it's just making people cater to my mental illness in a way they shouldn't have to? Also change is scary & this is different. It's not like a gender thing, it's changing
the way she views me entirely as a person so maybe that's harder? Like if someone's trans it's like "okay well ur the same person I've always known & cared about, just not the gender I knew you as" but as an alter others that already know me have to wrap their head around the
fact that they never knew me as a person, just kinda the single identity we project that's kind of a combination of our traits? Is it scary for them to lose that person? Or does it just feel weird and unnecessary??? I know that's not something someone besides them can answer for
me, but I wish I knew
Like my older sister referred to my cohost by name once irl, so she's like getting used to it but my younger one just idk, I feel like it's probably weird for her. I think I want to be acknowledged as me but I think the way she reacts makes me feel like
Like my older sister referred to my cohost by name once irl, so she's like getting used to it but my younger one just idk, I feel like it's probably weird for her. I think I want to be acknowledged as me but I think the way she reacts makes me feel like
"Oh no is that too much to ask? Am I really asking to indulge my mental illness like that? Do other ppl with this even do that???" so now I'm frustrated & kinda not sure where this thread was going but I'm a mess that's all
Maybe it'd help if anyone else has been through this kinda thing? Idk
