Quick thread on rupture, and the difference between hurt and harm for me, around therapeutic rupture. Earlier this week my therapist accidentally did something I experienced as hurtful. I felt angry. Later, I was advised by someone I respect very much to be curious about meaning.

The suggestion had created a sense of hope where I had felt despairing. Had another session today & relayed what I'd been advised. What my therapist chose to do here was crucial: he wanted to be curious with me. Had he been defensive or rejecting, hurt could have turned to harm.

We both explored what had been co-created between us in the room, both of our responses, and our failure to connect earlier in the week. We made meaning of what transpired. In there, we both identified things we wanted to bring into the room but had been holding back.

What I am left with is not only that rupture/repair has been useful to create a different relational experience, but it has actively brought new things to our awareness, and allowed me to talk (and think) more freely on a topic I had avoided. Like how a thunderstorm refreshes us.

Not easy stuff at all, but if I am to share my previous harmful experiences of therapy, it strikes me as important to share how I experience things can be done differently, through authentic, collaborative, respectful practice.
And onward we go. Coddiwompling.