I saw on here recently someone said that one tactic for black women to reclaim our time is to stop saying yes immediately. Take some time to think on it. And I just want reiterate that I am a testimony.

Three day rule, minimum, for all requests that aren’t of the “ma’am can you take a deep breath for me” variety. Longer if need be. Three days. If you forget about the request? The answer was no. If you kept thinking about it? It’s a soft maybe with more details needed.

I am talking to myself. Quick responses are a trauma response to scarcity and exclusion. But we are a limited resource. More limited the older we get and the more racist and sexist everyone else gets. Three days.

One caveat: if your basic needs aren’t quite met? 48 hours is okay if the request will help you meet them that week or month. But perversely the more precarious you are, the more time you need to judge your needs! It’s so screwed up and I am sorry.

YMMV. I don’t do advice etc.

One P.S. I try to replace one script - “yes” — with another, which is, “my gut loves this idea/opportunity but I always take three days to make sure I can say yes in good conscience!” If I must say something to manage the anxiety.