Mike Pence continues to look like an index finger wearing a Wite-Out toupee.
With just as much charisma.
Mostly I'm not in favor of mocking what people look like but Mike Pence reminds me of one of those cheap tube socks with no heel.
Mike Pence looks like a third of a can of flat Fresca.
On his census form for ethnicity Mike Pence marks "chicken slurry."
Mike Pence looks like a death mask's death mask.
Mike Pence looks like his clothes are stuck on with mucilage.
Mike Pence is that mostly empty jar of Vicks VapoRub that has been in the upstairs medicine cabinet at your grandparents' house since 1932.
You can follow @elizmccracken.
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