I want to talk about learning to love myself. I started gymnastics when I was 2 years old and became competitive by 6. I grew up muscular, which was different than the way girls “should” be. I have so many memories of boys pointing out my muscles, asking me to flex, asking me to

arm wrestle, making me feel different. On top of that, gymnastics is a sport that asks you to be strong, but also thin. There was a constant balance of not being strong enough or being strong in the wrong places and not being thin enough. Comments upon comments about weight.

Deciding how much food I needed to get through a practice without putting on weight. When I tore my ACL at 13, my body changed. The months off from constantly working out at an obvious crucial age as a girl was tough. I gained weight. I was still strong AF, but I wasn’t lean.

I STRUGGLED with this. I struggled with this for a long time. Through high school, through college, through weigh ins and body fat percentage testing. I never learned to love my body. I never trusted it. I always wanted it to be different. When I tore my ACL again, and then

added another surgery after that, I stopped gymnastics. Another struggle. I decided I didn’t want to be muscular. I wanted to be skinny. In med school I started running, and I lost weight. Marathon training saw the pounds shed off. My arms and legs were leaner than they had ever

been. But I wasn’t happy. Residency was basically just getting by. I still didn’t have a love for myself or my body. I gained weight, I took it off, I gained weight, I took it off. I started adding more strength in towards the end of my third year and saw some positive changes.

Finally, in fellowship, I satisfied an itch I had been wanting to scratch for a long time and joined CrossFit. A year later, I can’t believe the difference it has had on who I am and who I perceive myself to be. I am more confident. I love my body! I have embraced that my

strength is an asset and part of who I am and who I am supposed to be, not something that sets me apart as “different” or “other”. I am constantly in awe of what this old body is able to do. It has fueled a flame that I didn’t even know was still burning in my soul. I’m not even

sure why I’m writing this other than to say, find the thing that makes you love you. Find the thing that allows you to embrace who you truly are. Be that person unabashedly so young girls can look at you and say, wow I can be like that too. I don’t need to look like what society

has told me I need to look like. I don’t need to worry about what others think if I’m happy. I don’t need to be thin and strong and perfectly fit into a box to be successful. I can be me and you can be you and both of those things are beautiful.