Context: about two years into my last MacBook, I accidentally cleaned it with something that fucked up the screen. It’s why I wanted a new one. When I saw the spots, I thought the screen was damaged and panicked. I wiped it hoping it was dust. https://twitter.com/proudloudlib/status/1294005129687990274

But, since I’d only had the machine for 4 days, and it wouldn’t wipe away, I thought the dots were damage. I was too paranoid about it so I didn’t want to fuck it up. I figured I’d just get an exchange and try to be “more” careful.

I stood in line for an hour to get in (had an appointment) and someone came out to ask what I needed. I told him. He said, “did you wipe it clean?” I thought he meant the hard drive so I start talking about the cloud. Man said:

I was like, “it is broken! Last time I let it slide and I couldn’t use my screen in daylight so I just came to nip it in the bud!

He said, “Did you wipe the screen?” Me, an intellectual: OF COURSE! It’s not dust, I’ve only had it for four days and I’ve been very careful! I’ve wiped it SEVERAL times.”
Then he did like this:

And I was watching like:

I was like, “hang on... did you use a special cloth? Or some cleaner? Robitussin or something?
Nope. Man just put some muscle in his wiping. He said it’s like soda or juice or... And I said, “I DO NOT DRINK JUICE NOR SODA!”
He said, “... or wine.”

He was actually really sweet about it. He showed me a way to clean it (turn it upside down) AND he gave me the special cleaning cloth.

THE END

I’m just glad that I didn’t fedex it back like the original plan.
Shout out to Irene at customer service. She told me to be sneaky and make an appointment for purchase. Everyone else told me to mail my joint for an exchange. Imagine if I had to wait three weeks for wine droplets