THREAD: What it TRULY means to be equally yoked.

*note* this is based off both personal experience & scripture but I am open to other views

Before I start: this was long overdue but also inspired by @valsmocha’s question RE: Spiritual maturity https://twitter.com/valsmocha/status/1294028427209703424

Firstly, what even does the term “equally yoked” mean? We’ve seen in mentioned in the Bible or in sermons but the literal meaning?

“Joined with the same”

In II Corinthians 6:14a, Paul advised “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” So essentially, a Christian should be with a Christian. I mean we’re both saved, right?

But that’s the simple way of looking at it.

“Joined with the same” doesn’t just stop at both believing in Christ, and I believe often we neglect that. Genesis 2:24 tells us that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh.”

So is believing in Christ really enough? Hm

If you are now ONE, you would have to share the same values, no? Like with handling finances, with how you see children, how you love and accept love? So why treat your “spiritual level” any different?

One thing I’ve heard a lot of people say is “I want someone more spiritually mature than me so they can motivate me to get closer to God” but do we ever take into account how this may affect the other person involved?

Do we ever consider how much of a responsibility we place on that other person whilst also potentially leaving the possibility to hinder their spiritual growth? It’s almost selfish

Also, it’s interesting how it’s always “I want someone ‘Godfearing’” until that exact person comes along and then suddenly you either feel condemned or you want them to ‘loosen up’ so you don’t feel as bad for not being on the ‘same spiritual level’. Again, selfish.

I’ve also heard people “I want someone I can teach” or “I wouldn’t mind someone who is willing to be taught” and that in itself is also interesting to me because either:

A: Superhero complex - (toxic)
OR
B: Opens doors to hierarchy - (toxic)

I’ll explain

A - usually comes from a place of love but can easily be turned into a manipulation tactic because once you start teaching you want results & the frustration can lead to either verbal abuse (not necessarily insults btw) or you feeling like you’re not as ‘strong’ as you thought

B - also usually starts off from a place of love but from always being taught, the other person may lay the responsibility for their salvation on your shoulders, which then leads to a form of submission not out of respect of person but respect of knowledge - which is dangerous

Respecting someone primarily for their knowledge/zeal because yours doesn’t match is dangerous simply because you will constantly have high expectations which then means that person cannot make mistakes around you because subconsciously it’s ‘how can he/she make such a mistake?’

*This is also part of the reason why a lot of people judge pastoral families because they “should know better” & also why a lot of people experience church hurt from just believing everything pastor says without checking for themselves*

A lot of the time also, when you’re seen as more “spiritually mature” you’re either labelled as the mum/aunty/pastor/uncle/dad of the group or heretic - even by fellow believers

So realistically, will that change in a relationship? Ofc not! Now Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

Yes, this is RE: friendship, but I believe this also applies in relationships because again, we are ONE

Iron sharpens itself, right? So if we have the same zeal, drive, passion for Christ, the same understanding of our identity, would we not find it easier to correct, easier to learn, easier to grow, easier to teach, easier to support?

Though we may not know the exact same things, we’d find it easier to respect each other for who we actually are both in Christ & together rather than just what one of us knows or how far one is in their walk

Amos 3:3 literally says “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”

How can you say you’re “equally yoked” when your passion for Christ isn’t even the same? How will you even agree on how to do things, given that one will believe one thing whilst another may not just yet?

Yes, you both believe in Christ but one of you believes it’s baptism by water imersion that saves whilst the other believes it’s simply faith which then comes with baptism of the spirit? So what then do you tell your kids?

One of you wants to talk about finished works all the time and the other starts yawning because it’s the third time you’ve mentioned Christ that same day, and you think just believing in Christ is enough to be “equally yoked”?

When the zeal/passion/understanding is the same, these scenarios are wayyy less likely to occur. Why? Because you are “joined with the same” so when one falls, the other one knows how to pick them up, how to teach/learn without feeling condemned nor pressured

It’s that “feeling equal in Christ, mutual understanding in Christ” that makes you equally yoked, and not just belief in Christ.

But yeah, that’s my take - let me know your thoughts, let’s discuss! God bless

Note: I’m speaking about Christian dating, so please do bear that in mind