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@DanTehanWannon
In 1993, at 20, I passed my first year at Uni with HDs.
In January 1994, I told a Catholic Bishop I’d been raped by a priest at 13. He accused me of lying.
He told mum, who disowned me. I moved interstate to study with multiple scholarships in music.
/1
In 1993, at 20, I passed my first year at Uni with HDs.
In January 1994, I told a Catholic Bishop I’d been raped by a priest at 13. He accused me of lying.
He told mum, who disowned me. I moved interstate to study with multiple scholarships in music.
/1
I wanted to become an international violin soloist. I was nearly there.
The Catholic Bishop was the first person I had told about my clergy abuse, which had lasted 2 years.
He blamed me.
Mum said I was a slut & a whore. She said I wasn’t her daughter anymore.
/2
The Catholic Bishop was the first person I had told about my clergy abuse, which had lasted 2 years.
He blamed me.
Mum said I was a slut & a whore. She said I wasn’t her daughter anymore.
/2
My 2nd year was a disaster.
I felt so ashamed & completely worthless. All I could think about was what the Bishop, mum & my rapist had told me.
I couldn’t tell anyone what had happened. Not my lecturers. Or anyone.
I spent 9 months unable to function.
I failed everything.
/3
I felt so ashamed & completely worthless. All I could think about was what the Bishop, mum & my rapist had told me.
I couldn’t tell anyone what had happened. Not my lecturers. Or anyone.
I spent 9 months unable to function.
I failed everything.
/3
On my 21st birthday, there was no one to celebrate my passage to adulthood.
I was alone in a disgusting flat.
I figured the best gift I could give people was to suicide, so I took rat poison and sleeping tablets.
It took me about 4 days to wake up.
/4
I was alone in a disgusting flat.
I figured the best gift I could give people was to suicide, so I took rat poison and sleeping tablets.
It took me about 4 days to wake up.
/4
I never completed my degree.
A year later I met my husband.
We have 3 grown kids now & have been together 24 years or so.
2 of them are now in Uni.
And in 2018, after decades, I jailed the priest who raped me as a child.
/5
A year later I met my husband.
We have 3 grown kids now & have been together 24 years or so.
2 of them are now in Uni.
And in 2018, after decades, I jailed the priest who raped me as a child.
/5
He’s serving 9 years in jail.
Turned out he’s a serial paedophile who has raped 8 other kids & served time twice in the 1990’s for child rape.
You may say, “well, universities have the ability to examine cases like yours individually.”
Here’s what helped ensure my silence.
/6
Turned out he’s a serial paedophile who has raped 8 other kids & served time twice in the 1990’s for child rape.
You may say, “well, universities have the ability to examine cases like yours individually.”
Here’s what helped ensure my silence.
/6
In December 1994, two months after my suicide attempt, I tried to appeal to be allowed to redo my 2nd year.
In front of a panel of eminent lecturers, I said that I had been raped.
I didn’t say who had raped me.
They didn’t believe me. They said I was an attention seeker.
/7
In front of a panel of eminent lecturers, I said that I had been raped.
I didn’t say who had raped me.
They didn’t believe me. They said I was an attention seeker.
/7
They said they didn’t want someone like me studying at their institution, that I was a compulsive liar without any redeeming qualities as a musician.
I cried in front of them as they said all this. They seemed to enjoy it.
Your decision is another version of those academics.
/8
I cried in front of them as they said all this. They seemed to enjoy it.
Your decision is another version of those academics.
/8
You’ve got loads of examples of people who failed & then succeeded.
I’m very proud of all of them.
But there are other stories, equally valuable, that are more loaded with shame, quiet feelings of lifelong stupidity & complete devastation.
I’m with them. I belong to them.
/9
I’m very proud of all of them.
But there are other stories, equally valuable, that are more loaded with shame, quiet feelings of lifelong stupidity & complete devastation.
I’m with them. I belong to them.
/9
You see, as I was waiting on John Aitchisons trial to start, I wanted my life to count for something.
I needed something to keep me going, just in case he was found ‘not guilty’.
So I enrolled in my second try at a degree in social science (criminology).
It took guts.
/10
I needed something to keep me going, just in case he was found ‘not guilty’.
So I enrolled in my second try at a degree in social science (criminology).
It took guts.
/10
I found that universities haven’t changed much since 1994.
Aitchison’s childhood attacks left permanent damage.
I didn’t realise that jailing him wouldn’t make a difference to needing to prove my disability for every unit I took.
Earlier this year, I dropped out.
/11
Aitchison’s childhood attacks left permanent damage.
I didn’t realise that jailing him wouldn’t make a difference to needing to prove my disability for every unit I took.
Earlier this year, I dropped out.
/11
There are damn good reasons why people like me feel stupid.
And honestly, what you’ve done is legitimise this.
It makes me feel angry, frustrated & upset when anyone tries to contradict this, because when any child grows up with abuse, this stupidity is the real lesson.
/12
And honestly, what you’ve done is legitimise this.
It makes me feel angry, frustrated & upset when anyone tries to contradict this, because when any child grows up with abuse, this stupidity is the real lesson.
/12
People like me listened to a National Apology in October 2018.
My rapist had been sentenced 2 months before.
We heard all sorts of big promises from @ScottMorrisonMP that have never come true.
We are supposed to blindly believe you both. To have ‘faith’.
/13
My rapist had been sentenced 2 months before.
We heard all sorts of big promises from @ScottMorrisonMP that have never come true.
We are supposed to blindly believe you both. To have ‘faith’.
/13
Lecturers are supposed to be curious & kind. To look deeper.
You believe they will see someone like me & treat me like they treat you, in closed door round tables in skyscraper meetings.
You are powerful. Privileged too.
The truth is that I may be too stupid for a degree.
/14
You believe they will see someone like me & treat me like they treat you, in closed door round tables in skyscraper meetings.
You are powerful. Privileged too.
The truth is that I may be too stupid for a degree.
/14
But I’m not stupid enough to believe people like you anymore.
I’d rather be uneducated than be covered in academic glory and say the things that have been said to me.
People like you make decisions about people like me because someone has to be stupid.
/15
I’d rather be uneducated than be covered in academic glory and say the things that have been said to me.
People like you make decisions about people like me because someone has to be stupid.
/15
I’ll always be confused & traumatised by what stupid really means, who gets to decide & why it’s so poorly understood.
Universities aren’t interested in rape survivors. They believe we should put it behind us.
Who is stupid here?
Who deserves the fucking question marks?
/end
Universities aren’t interested in rape survivors. They believe we should put it behind us.
Who is stupid here?
Who deserves the fucking question marks?
/end
