i have been crippled by my depression, anxiety, and ptsd to the point where i can’t function on a day-to-day basis without at least one large-scale breakdown. it has become so hard to do anything. doing basic chores, or even getting out of bed, is such a big victory for me now.

the days where i actually manage to do things feel rewarding but insanely draining. if i go out and do things, i come back home and cry. i’m so tired all the time. it’s been so hard to work and earn anything for myself, and my new job’s start date isn’t until late august.

in addition to that, the pay is biweekly, so i’m going to be struggling even more financially until about mid september. i have never felt so emotionally defeated in so long. i don’t enjoy shit. i’m either sad or angry so often now.

i’m honestly on the verge of driving myself to a hospital right now to check myself in because of how awfully i’ve been doing, but the thought of going back after how miserable last time was scares me.

i’m not really sure what to do anymore.

writing this thread isn’t really doing anything aside from letting me vent, but yeah. this is where i’m at. there’s a lot more here that i’d say, but i’d rather not let the world know how far gone i really am lmao