My first year of grad school in 2017, Kula came over to Michigan for a short visit. During that visit, she got pregnant. We were sitting in the lecture room during one of my late nights burning the midnight oil to study for exams. She went to the bathroom and came back with a

test that read positive. I tried to contain my excitement because her face looked visibly devastated. We spoke about it and I kept saying, “up to you, whatever you decide, I will support you.” When she went back to Fiji, she kept thinking about her mom and how disappointed she

would be that Kula didn’t fulfill one of her wishes which is to graduate first before we had a baby. I knew it would have been selfish of me to beg her to keep the baby considering the fact that she still wanted to live out her dream of becoming a lawyer before she had one.

We weighed out our options and reassured ourselves that we wanted to stick to our plan of having a baby when we know we could take care of that baby the best way we possibly could. When she went to Fiji, she went ahead with the procedure and terminated her pregnancy at 5 weeks.

I remember crying the whole day and stopping only when I spoke with Kula to console her for the life altering event that just happened. It was one of the loneliest days I’ve ever spent alone in Michigan. That year, we had our worst fights and it all stemmed from that.

The resentment we had for each other. The betrayal we felt against our faith. The fact that we couldn’t take about it without fear of people judging us for our decisions. It almost broke our relationship. That traumatic experience still haunts us to this day.

The cloud of resentment and sadness followed us whenever we tried again and could never get pregnant. We thought our God had abandoned us for our actions. Until Aug last year when Kula got pregnant again. She had just migrated to the US in June. That time; I had a steady job and

a place for us. It was at that moment that we realized that God’s plan will always prevail in the most perfect timing despite our decisions.

I hope people understand that no one just wakes up in the morning and decides to have an abortion. That shit is life changing.