ranking every keanu reeves movie i’ve seen based on how hot he is in it and nothing else: a thread
i’ve seen 38 keanu movies since quarantine began. he is hot in everything because he is hot, but this is my personal opinion.

i’ve seen 38 keanu movies since quarantine began. he is hot in everything because he is hot, but this is my personal opinion.
29. john wick 2. i know he kinda looks the same in every john wick movie but idk. he seems different here.
22. babes in toyland. honestly still not sure if this movie is real or if it was just a fever dream i had.
17. chain reaction. honestly idk why i ranked this so high up. but yeah, the scarf kinda does it for me

14. the prince of pennsylvania. another dumb haircut, but we’ve already established that i’m into that.
9. constantine. okay, he looks SO GOOD IN THIS MOVIE. and listen up: my mans was 40 YEARS OLD HERE. god.
7. speed. he looked good, he saved a bus full of people, and he got the girl? superhero. (speed 2 is a joke and does not exist in my world)
6. the devil’s advocate. honestly, he looks so GOOD here it hurts, but i also think the accent he does in this movie makes him even hotter. idk why.
4. point break. an fbi agent who surfs to catch bad guys but actually ends up liking it?? sounds hot to me.
2. bill and ted’s bogus journey. i think it’s the hair, but i personally think that he’s even hotter in this one than the first one.
and finally, 1. river’s edge. this is the hottest keanu and i don’t care what anyone else says. the hair, the jacket, the attitude, EVERYTHING.
okay thank you all for coming to my presentation of “every keanu reeves movie i’ve seen ranked by how hot he is in it and nothing else”. nobody appreciates me on twitter so nobody will see this. but thank you.
((also this thread is a complete joke (well maybe not COMPLETELY). i do not know mr. reeves but from what i have heard he is a very nice guy and he is not just a hot man. i hope he has a nice day))