“Maybe I should take my picture down so guys will stop harassing me.”

My coworker, regarding her LinkedIn pfp, after reporting yet another man using it as a hookup app. Let’s talk about how predatory men use every avenue they can to harass and manipulate women

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My coworker, let’s call her Val, is looking to take the next step in her IT career. She’s putting herself out there on LinkedIn, making connections, doing everything you’re “supposed to do.” She’s qualified, sharp as a tack, and motivated. She’s also pretty.

Every week I hear about men in hiring positions, or in positions of company influence, reaching out to her. It always starts professionally, the usual “what are your goals” etc. and every week, I see the ones who shift the tone. There’s always someone who shifts the tone.

“Haha cool, so are you single? Or...?”

“Here’s a better selfie of me since my pfp isn’t as clear.”

“So do you work out? You look like you work out.”

Or maybe, like yesterday’s, a pic in his boxer-briefs “to show his workout progress”

It’s unwelcome, it’s inappropriate, and it’s predatory. These men are using positions of power to coercively make advances on vulnerable women who just want to advance their careers. With disgusting entitlement, they don’t even consider the impact, much less any consequences.

That’s because even now, in the 21st century, those consequences are still insufficient. I predict already that I’ll see some “that never happened” replies to this thread. Men don’t believe women, and so they don’t hold other men accountable.

Men perpetuate the narrative that an ambitious woman MUST have used her sexuality to succeed, then take advantage of women who work for them. It has to stop

Men, do better. Stop joking about women. Call men out. Be the men you claim to be when these posts make you feel defensive

Women should not have to make ourselves smaller to be safe, to be comfortable, or to be treated with dignity.

Society had convinced Val the problem was with her. She was too pretty in her picture, and it’s her responsibility to avoid these men. That’s the worst part. That impact I mentioned, which men don’t consider. Or maybe they do. Maybe they thrive on it.

Again, predators.

We report, of course. We have our #MeToo movements. It makes a difference. But look at how violently men jumped to the defensive during that. Look at how, despite nearly every woman has similar experiences, while somehow men have somehow never seen it happen.

We’ll continue to fight, but until men start being better, and caring about women the way they care about themselves, we’ll never be allowed to stop fighting.

This is why I’m a feminist. This is why you should be too.