okay so im hurting and my way to detach from the hurt is pushing it out and it tends to hurt the other so im going to try not to do that because i love her. i feel what i feel and it hurts because i wanted the moment to last longer but sometimes they dont. she put a mirror up to

me and showed me what i need to address within myself (i dont like talking, i need to form a better relationship with words, i say yes to things that i know will hurt, i need to create healthier boundaries). a lot of the pain comes from the quickness because she didnt do anything

wrong. she loved me. i asked for someone like her and she came in and showed me exactly what i needed. whats wrong is the timing. if im hurt, i need to blame the time and not her. i dont want her to feel hurt because im hurt. there are lessons i need to learn and i need to accept

what i did and what i agreed to. so, while im upset, im also going to take time to reflect on me and myself, what role i played. right now, i may not be able to appreciate the many good moments we shared in such a short amount of time, but i know if i take accountability, learn

and grow, i will. im going to do it for myself but also because i love her so deeply and want to see her again. another lifetime like she said.