Women really don’t know how to shoot their shot bro

What do y’all be talking about....

quarantine got folks bored

You forex niggas are out of control...

Me: You moving an hour away... whew
Her: Where do you stay?
Me: *******
Her: It's still worth it to link up? Lol
Me: I tried to video chat you, you never answered if you wanted
Her: Nah i rather just meet up lol. I can drive to ***. Its not a problem

Me: do you have an IG?
Her: naw I’m not big on social media
Me: ok well we should video chat when are you free
Her: sure that’s cool anytime after 1
*1pm arrives*
Me: ok cool you free?
*video call doesn’t connect*
Her: call me on my phone
*Goes to txt and see messages are green*

“It must be real then”

“I know it’s on your profile but Imma ask anyways and you rude for not answering my question even though this was obvious if I took the time to read”

Me: you have an IG?
Her: naw
Me: oh ok we should video chat sometime when youre free
Her: sure
*video chat doesn’t connect multiple times*
Her: so you arent going to message me?
Me: I mean tbh idk cause I’m not sure who you say you are couldn’t video chat and you don’t have an IG

Her: “SO YOU THINK IM A CATFISH?! SOCIAL MEDIA ISNT LIFE! I COULD HAVE AN IG AND STILL CATFISH YOU! TECHNOLGY DOESNT ALWAYS WORK THATS THE NATURE OF IT!!”

Me: “any plans for today?”
*shawty disappears from the convo for one week*
Her: “we should grab drinks this weekend or something this”
Me: “I mean true we should video chat when you’re free”
Her: “ok... I guess that’s cool too”

“Trust me bro, I’m good”

west coast is huge

“You’re too picky”

Covid gon keep going crazy till 2022

So you agree, you deflected...

“Lemme creep through your page before I decide if you can follow mine”

????

I’ve finally confirmed why I keep getting my time wasted on this app...

Maybe if I lower the minimum age to 23 I’ll have better luck

So my friend suggested I unmatch people when I’m not interested to improved my algorithm instead of just leaving the convo. I listened and gave it a try, why did shawty dm me on IG and write a think piece mind you were didn’t y’all ALL day till then

Like huh?

Me: oh ok when’s the last time you got tested?
Her: Jan
Me: uh that was a while ago you’re due for a checkup
Her: yeah I don’t have sex with people I’m not in a relationship with so I haven’t gon
Me: that’s not how diseases work they don’t just pause when you not with someone.

Her: well if I’m in a relationship with someone with exchange results and then have sex
Me: oh ok cool
*convo fast forward*
Her: how many people are you talking to?
Me: relax... that’s like me asking how many people you having sex with
Her: ok so answer
Me: YOU answer

Her: 1
Me: you just said you get tested when you’re in a relationship and haven’t been tested since Jan....
Her: I didn’t say it was recent
Me: well you can’t be “having sex with someone” if it’s not recent....
Her: well it what do you consider recent
Me: idk couple weekish

Her: well recent to me is like a month or so
Me: oh so when the last time y’all had sex then if it’s not that recent
Her: about a month but we aren’t HAVING sex I just know if I want some I can call him it’s a friends with benefits kinda deal

Titties and a seat belt???

*hault

I got umatched after this

Which is it bumble does somebody like me or naw...

page full of memes no actual pictures

“Congratulations, you played yourself”

*looks directly into camera*

Me: ok so when’s the last you got tested?
Her: feb
Me: 1,2,3....that’s 7 months you over due bro
Her: oh I’m not having sex so there’s no point in getting tested
Me: but that’s not how infections work...
Her: I’m not exposing myself so I’m fine
Me: ...and you said you’re a nurse?

*video calls*
Her: “so were you born a man?”
Me: “.....huh?”
Her: “yeah it’s 2020 you can’t be sure”
Me: “you know that sounds transphobic right...”
Her: “naw it’s my preference”
Me: “you know your preference can be based in a phobia right...”

Me: are you crazy?
Her: no
Me: are you emotionally unstable?
Her: no
Me: are you racist, homophobic, transphobic, or anti sex worker?
Her: no but I am Christian
Me: ......what does that have to do with the convo?

Maybe I just need to date a short woman with no butt

Her: you from out here
Me: yeah but I wanna move tbh I’m tired of the area, if it wasn’t for Rona I would’ve moved to Texas but it’s going crazy out there
Her: yeah I though about moving there or somewhere in the south like ATL
Me: black people always moving to ATL to solve probs

Her: but as a single young black woman atl isn’t the area for me
Me: wym, there’s plenty of single black people dowm there that’s a hot spot
Her: yeah but there’s more women than men there and the men be gay or bi, downlow or got AIDS
Me: ....true

Me: there’s a lot to unpack here, 1. What’s the issue with him being bi? 2. How do you assume somebody got AIDS just cause they live there?
Her: wait are you bi?
Me: no but idk how that became a factor in determining if you could date someone

Her: it’s my preference, don’t get me wrong I have gay friends but if a man is gay he likes men than women in my experience plus as a woma I can’t compete with a man
Me: you realize your preferences can be based in a phobia right?

Me: you sound like a white person saying “I can’t be racist, I have black friends” after saying something ridiculously racist....

When I get a “New Match” notification

How can I word things more effectively...

Y’all look at this

Me: “do you apologize when you’re wrong?”
Her: “of course, but I hate when somebody else is wrong and they want me to apologize”
Me: “but if y’all both wrong you don’t apologize for your part in what happened?”
Her: “naw Iont like that”
Me:

Me: “when’s the last time you got tested?”
Her: “last year but I’m good though”
Me: “uh that’s not how that works...”
Her:

Me manifesting my tall girlfriend with a nice ass & cute face, who’s smart, funny, has a career, goals, accountability, honesty and good communication skills with no kids

Finally have something that’s not negative to share, it was my morning laugh

*take me to the king starts playing*
I spoke too soon

So shawty messaged me on one app then I see another profile on another so I messaged like: is somebody catfishing you?
Her: naw I got bored at work and decided to make this too
Me: oh ok you have an IG?
Her: yeah but I haven’t been on social media in months
Me: (catfish)

Her: I mean it’s private anyways so even if I gave it to you, you wouldn’t be able to see anything
Me: oh ok true I feel you
Her: but if you change your mind here it is ____
Me: *thinks* what am I supposed to do with this if it’s private and you not logging on bruh

Nobody reads just swipes

You forex people are the worst

Ok this one was on me but still funny

If the convo went “oh I was just asking cause I don’t believe in it either just being funny” cool but what was the point here...
This woman is 32.

I’m bout to just delete this app bruh I’m tired....

I hate it here...

I knew from the jump something was off when I asked a very specific question and she ain’t answer .
I’m bout to just read a book bruh I give up....

I knew it was time to delete all my dating apps when shawty had in her bio she was “weirdly attracted to trees”

Y’all prob too young to understand this

“You’re 32...”

I feel like there was 1000 other things you could’ve gone with for this

LMAO

Reason 78 I don’t check my message requests