i have a thread about this with a bit more ~serious~ explanation, i'll share it on the way home https://twitter.com/yullichika/status/1293635991887056897

so, this is only my thoughts about my own situation, not a general opinion...

i consider coming out as 2 things: coming out to yourself and coming out to people around you. they usually go together in some way. you come out to yourself because in all ways that makes you healthier and happier mentally, emotionally. you come out to others so they know...

coming out to yourself can be very difficult, for me it involved a lot of work mentally, emotionally, in my thinking - about the same amount of i had to do about my mental health issues in previous years. and from just admitting to yourself fully accepting can be a long journey

coming out to others is about telling them and then they react to it/me in some way. the question is, what do i expect from telling others? do they have to know? do i want acceptance? if so, am i prepared for rejection, hurt, homophobia?

to be honest there are many things people do not know about me, as i choose wisely what to share about myself. most people have no idea about my (mental) health struggles as it is not their business. i feel the same about relationships, gender and sexual orientation etc.

like quite literally it is no one's business. and it would not bother anyone, if people just stopped assuming things. do you assume all people to be healthy? to like the same movies you do? eat the same food? so then why do you assume things about gender and attraction?

i would be very happy to touch on this topic only when it is relevant. also, people reacting negatively to different orientations is the most ridiculous thing. you react to a thing that has nothing to do with you, doesn't influence you in any way...

and to be honest i don't think it changes anything about me. i didn't become someone else because i came out. i just became more me and happier. i still like the same movies, the same music, the same clothes, the same food...

i am trying to find the right words but will coming out to others change anything about me? i am not hiding anything, not living a double life. i do hide my mental health struggles, my interests in certain topics etc as fit to the situation. do i need to come out as an xx fan?

there is no big reveal, no big change, no lies. so why should i have to deal with possible negative reactions, criticism, slurs, gossip, homophobia? someone would even put the weight of teaching people about lgbtq stuff on me... but why? why is it my responsibility?

i do not own anyone the full truth about myself, only me myself. i do not own anyone "education". and i do not want to live "bravely", i just want to live. happy, healthy, enjoying who i am.

so, living as i am, i often forget coming out to others is a thing. i did and i am still in the process of coming out to myself, which i think is the most important for my own health and happiness. isn't that enough?

plus, if i come out to others, i have to do it repeatedly? to every new person i meet?? till the end of my life??? so do i also come out as a bts fan and a scifi enthusiast, who had depression and played the piano in the past? isn't that ridiculous?

and if i would tell someone these things, they would be like, "oh i didn't know this about you. cool" and that's it. would they say the same if i said i was gay?

this thread is all over the place but if i tell someone i am gay, it is just a fact that you need to know. or i was expressing myself. i do not want an opinion, confirmation of my identity, or support - which is how most people react, so i don't tell them.

see these reactions are about you, not about me. and i did not tell you because i wanted to hear about your opinion on gay marriage.

and if your opinion of me changes after this, then you missed the point. (as i explained in the previous tweets...)

as it is, i do not have any plans to come out to anyone. it will probably happen, in some random way. there are way too few people i trust with this information to tell them willingly.

and the worst thing of all, i have to gauge every person's character and trustworthiness now, a hundred times better than before. when you all could just stop being homophobes and gossips and i could just live in peace