[VULNERABLE THREAD]

This is my 6th year of teaching and I'll be teaching in my 6th school. Yeah, you read that correctly. Over the past several years, during the "first five" years of teaching I have really struggled to find a school community to call home.

I know this is not normal. It's not something they tell you to prepare for in undergrad. It's not ideal. Each year I stepped foot in a school building, I had every intent on staying for the long run because I planned to be a "career teacher". No one could tell me different.

In addition to learning the ropes and building my confidence as an instructor, I was hyper-sensitive to the ways systematic racism and flawed leadership played out in our school. Instead of running away, I stepped up and gave my all. Every time, every year.

Whether it was racist boxed curriculum, oppressive TLAC and TLAC adjacent practices, school culture, school communication, drama w/ parents, test scores, .... shit whatever it was ... when I sniffed a problem I put my all in to solve it. And they had varying results.

What was most consistent about these moments were a few things. 1st, I was burned out by the end of the year. 2nd, I had usually ruffled feathers with my approach and headstrongness. Third, My colleagues and students and parents always said my intent and tactics were necessary

In addition, the school place has been a traumatizing place for me, not just as a passionate teacher, but as a Black queer man. All of this has lead to each year ending in either a resignation, firing, or being counseled out. And each year I left with the same feeling...

1. I did what I felt was best and necessary for teachers and students throughout the year.
2. Do I have really sacrifice myself and what I believe to be true about education to make change?
3. What the hell is next?

I can't get into everything. This is a brainstorm for something bigger. But here's what I'll say. As much as I want to give myself a hard time for not staying at those schools, whether my choice or not, I am proud for staying committed to education overall.

It is taxing on the mind and body to start over. (I hate onboarding paperwork) MORESO, I am always wondering what are the long term impacts on my students since I left. I am constantly thinking of them and my colleagues I left behind in search of [that] school.

My status as an Education Nomad is a direct consequence of flawed leadership and a racist system. I have a desire to make the biggest impact ever and I'm following God. I will pace myself this year. I am excited about this new school. It'll push me. (I say that every year)