I still have a hard time with people being wrong on the internet. Not about the small stuff though. Sometimes a person posts a heartfelt and poignant message expressing how they feel about the political moment. And I'm like "I hear you but... that just doesn't make any sense".

I'm mostly whining and being self-indulgent here. I didn't do a good job this morning engaging people on the question about not voting. I didn't come into it ready to be patient and meet people where they are. That's always a mistake when trying to reach out.

I haven't really figured out what I need to do between now and November. I'm mostly trying to gather information to determine where to spend the limited energy I have to spend. What I really don't wanna do is argue ideologies. We're so far past that.

There is one fundamental thing I learned today that I think matters. A lot of people are still operating under the assumption that this is a normal election. I do not believe that. I haven't believed that for a long time. And it colors all of my decisions.

We've always had to contend with a set of people who believe their vote won't matter. Whether it's ignorance or apathy or a deep cynicism born from trying hard and failing. There are a lot of people who have decided that voting won't have an impact on the things they care about.

Unlike a lot of other people, I acknowledge that those feelings are valid. Under many other circumstances, I would let people make their own choices. But this isn't a normal circumstance. So I have to make it my business to try harder to help other people see that.

I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm not good at this kind of influence. I'm usually on the side of militancy and righteous anger. I'm all about that. But what we're dealing with now is something different. We are trying to avoid a *drastic* escalation in conflict and harm.

Trump is systematically eroding our rights and protections. Those things have never been perfect. But they did exist to some extent. If Trump has his way, they will be entirely absent. And we will be entirely at the mercy of a ruthless authoritarian regime.

Some people are having a hard time imagining what the difference is between that and the hardships we're all more familiar with. I can imagine it. Vividly. And I believe anybody who lets this happen thinking it won't be that bad is going to deeply regret that decision.

A lot of y'all are still telling yourselves that this is something that happens somewhere else. Trump has shown us again and again that there is no limit to what he is capable of. He is systematically dismantled all checks on his power. The decline is increasing exponentially.

I'm so serious about this. I'm more than ready to eat crow when and if this is all blows over. I'll be the conspiracy theorist. I'll be the laughingstock. I'm willing to sacrifice whatever credibility I had. As long as we avoid sliding into authoritarianism.

I'm scared. And I don't think we can afford to keep talking about this in the same way we usually do. This conversation has to change. And I'm feeling increasingly anxious because I don't know how to do that.

Now I have to switch back into the other mode. The one where I have to try to focus on getting a little work done so I don't get in trouble tomorrow. I'm having a really hard time maintaining this dual mode with what feels like doom looming over everything.

I still haven't figured out what to do. But I'll try again tomorrow. I have to.