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"you've changed" Wei Ying i went against my family for your sake and was punished with 33 whips and adopted a son which in the wake of your death ultimately helped me gain a new perspective on the rules i previously thought were the guiding authority on life.
ive said it before and ill say it again, lwj was in the process of questioning the morality and outlook on life gusulan's rules had given him before buyetian, but bc he was still working through his questioning + struggled with communicating his feelings he failed in reaching wwx
HOWEVER the 33 whips was the driving factor that solidified lwj's new perspective on life that broke away from the rules to view it more as a structure that Can dictate the way he lives but is not the infallible and always morally correct guidance he previously thought it was
note here that lwj's attachment to the rules isnt just bc he was raised inside that structure, told repeatedly that it was ALWAYS to be followed, & internalized the message that they dictated the world but also bc i read him as, after his mother's death, thinking perhaps -
that maybe if he follows the rules, maybe if he's perfect (rules = perfection and 'good') then his mother will open the door
but anyway. 33 whips was the breaking point for lwj i guess, the shock of 'get lost' plus recognizing how his moral standpoint and the rules conflicted
but anyway. 33 whips was the breaking point for lwj i guess, the shock of 'get lost' plus recognizing how his moral standpoint and the rules conflicted
not to say that after that point lwj thought the rules were unfair or his punishment was wrong, i believe lwj accepted the punishment bc he KNEW hurting his own sect was wrong, but more that he learned the rules ARE fallible and to trust his own moral judgement as well
basically "the rules can provide a good structure to live life by and are held in high esteem for a reason" and "the rules cannot always dictate what is right and wrong & judging the world solely through the lens of them is Not Good" are two statements that coexist in lwj's head
ALSO: lwj's adoption of a-yuan! obvs when lwj took him in, he was Not in any mental or physical state to care for a child, so lets skip to when lwj's recovered a little from his wounds and has been allowed/gone ahead and granted himself permission to take care of a-yuan
lwj's parental figures are... hm. his mother died, his father secluded himself and hoisted all childrearing duties onto lqr, who probably never wanted to be a parent, so he has zero examples to draw from, but he knows what he DOESN'T want to do
he DOESN'T want to become like his father, who was little more than a shadowy figure in his children's life, he DOESN'T want to raise a-yuan with the same strict, inflexible, black-and-white, perfectionist worldview he had
but teaching and interacting with children.... hard. still lwj tried his best to raise a-yuan in a genuinely kind, strict but also understanding and guiding way, and i believe this is how lwj improved his communication skills: by having to explain things and guide a-yuan
for me lwj's a very Doing Things person, hed rather show his emotions through his actions and maybe struggled with words when he was younger... but with a-yuan he HAS to talk through things and show his care/affection in both visible and audible ways to make it clear to a-yuan
so yeah i think the period right after wwx's death is very transformative for lwj bc he, 1: figures out how to keep living with his grief and carry on wwx's legacy, 2: solidified his new moral worldview and 3: learned to communicate better and found happiness in life bc of a-yuan
another note: i also think lwj going where the chaos is and using not just the rules but also his own heart's sense of justice, kindness, and right/wrong to determine his actions is in part another way of honoring wwx when the world at large remembers wwx as a monster
like yes, YES, of course lwj does it bc he genuinely wants to help ppl and use his cultivation for something more than what gusu lan would have him do but i think,, some of his inspiration for being so committed to helping the world comes from wwx
and wwx was i think a large part of the catalyst for lwj's examination of the rules, what they meant to him, and how they'd formed him into the person he was so yeah... yeah.
nobody:
LITERALLY nobody:
me: writes an essay about lan wangji's character development and how much i love lan wangji and how good a character he is
LITERALLY nobody:
me: writes an essay about lan wangji's character development and how much i love lan wangji and how good a character he is
