The healing of Black families and all that is tied to black families is in the details. We receive stories from our elders about how certain things connect, but there are crucial details that are left out of these stories.

It's in the details that we will understand conflicts, feuds and curses. It's in these details that we see who or WHAT the real enemy is. Sometime it's not just the person/spirit who is the enemy but also the circumstance they were in.

This is not an excuse, but all facts count in making sense of things.

We do all kinds of rituals to fix things, but we will be doing that forever if we don't know the details.

The real fix is in us knowing what NOT to repeat. The circumstance can be forgiven for that period, but there's still a 100% chance that it will be repeated because nobody shares the details of what happened. In which case, we will forever be fixing.

Now we are forced to overlook real questions like:

Why & how did someone become umthakathi? Why and how did one become iDlozi elimbi? What happened in their life? What things were they dealt with that resulted in that bitterness. What TRAUMA led them to dark side? What PAIN?

What EXACTLY are we dealing with here? What stopped this and that from being done? What ACTUALLY happened?

There needs to be more transparency and context in the stories of black families. We need to get comfortable with telling our real stories. We need to open safe spaces for our stories and to BE safe spaces for these stories to be told.

The newer generation, in any period, doesn't JUST get lost. Full stories are not told.