My friend’s kids: I’ve been doing research on the importance of boys knowing their father’s friends well. I just spent a week with a grad school roommate & his 4 kids. I get the data now! I was incredibly sad when I left. This is me w/the 10 yr-old riding bikes around town.

Hours spent talking, hanging out, running errands, eating food, listening to stories, debating condiments, talking current events (w/the two high schoolers), etc. Kids really do benefit from having their parent’s friends investing in them, esp. boys. https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Third-Different-Well-Balanced/dp/1607746026

The data is so overwhelmingly positive for boys (I haven’t researched girls but I’m sure it’s the same). I wonder why this isn’t intentionally normed in America. I took two of his sons to the zoo and we had great conversations (just like the data said would happen).

The data says that boys need multiple male guides (elders) in life, in additional to their fathers. Outside of Boy Scouts, I didn’t have this & I needed it in college and during my 20s. It just seems like something’s wrong with how we’re think about kids these days.

I know it matters to kids but I don’t know exactly how or in what ways *while* they’re kids. I need to do more reading. I do know why some parents value this and others don’t. So many questions. It seems to be incredibly life-giving for everyone. We all are better off.

It’s so life-giving that I was extremely sad when I boarded the plane. Such a stark contrast to life in New York. Among professionals, parents seem more interested in their kid’s performance than their network of relationships & adult influences. I have so many questions.

I’m still sorting out *why* I was so sad when I left. These aren’t my kids. But I can’t wait to see them again. My friend’s daughter sent me home with the chocolate chip cookies she made from scratch. This was not my childhood. I’m learning. Maybe they are the ones shaping me.