For some weird reason, I am recalling one of those days my husband, then, fiancée came home to see me. When he left, an aunt asked who he was. I told her, "that's the man I want to marry"

She 'corrected' me, said women don't marry men, I should have said...

... "That's the man that wants to marry me"

I smiled at her, then repeated it so she can't not hear clearly, "that is the man I want to marry"

It just brings into perspective how from the get go, culture, and the gatekeepers of it, have made marriage into a one-sided...

... one sided ownership deal. Like a purchase of a commodity- the wife, as opposed to mutual transfer of rights and liberty between two people.

Anyways, she also wanted me to learn to pound yam by force. Safe to say, she calls me disrespectful and stubborn.

Sigh.