Warning: weightloss

As maybe some of you already know, I've been struggling with weight. I've been fat since I can remember myself, wrong eating habits in my childhood fucked up my metabolism and so I've always been bigger than other girls.
I hated it when I was young, and –

I still hate it just as much. Bullying at school, not liked by others, laughed at, body-shamed... I'm sure most of people with weight problems have experienced this. It really did leave deep scars on my heart and Untol this day I'm very self conscious about myself, I've –

Lived so far to hate myself, to wear covering clothes, to dress mostly in black, avoid people and...avoid relationship.
The last few years has been especially hard for me, depression and anxiety has been following me for a while now, and of course, it has affected my weight –

As well. By the end of April, I realised just how fat I've become, just how far I've ruined my body and health. I was ugly and disgusted by myself, and of course, my toxic family didn't help either, shaming me for my appearance, not bothering to ask if I was fine.
But –

As someone who is (ngl here) obsessed with my appearance, I just had to pull myself together, gods, I love good, I love pizza, but I just had to stop doing this up my body.
I stepped on the scale and it showed 100kg. Hundred fucking kilos. I've never been this heavy ever! –

My self esteem dropped even more and honestly I just wanted to disappear, yet I didn't. I picked myself up, give myself a good beating and started a diet. I cut off the daily calorie intake, I started to eat healthier and not 10 times per day, I went out on walks, I started –

To live.
Of course, my family still didn't and even now, don't support me, me being fat- it's bad. Me trying to save myself- it's also bad. So I'm battling this alone, it's not always easy, sometimes I just hate thin people who can eat everything they want.
But then again, –

I learned to cook and make gorgeous food which doesn't contain the bad fats and calories. Even if it's mostly plant based, it's still filling and DAMN delicious. People just have to experiment, do some research, diet is not always about starving yourself and eating only –

Grass, don't get fooled by what the social media posts. We all have different body types, thus, different needs.

Anyway, here I am, 4 months later, still struggling with my weight (because it won't happen in 1 day), but there is progress, a lot of progress. I have much –

More energy, my body feels better, my skin is better, I don't get exhausted after walking 5 steps, I fell like I'm living.
I think the hardest thing in dieting is staying on it. Only because you don't see the results on the scale or your body after 3 days, it doesn't mean –

You won't see it after a month. The motivation jeans I bought and couldn't fit 2 months ago are now too big for me, people at work are complimenting on me, they praise me for what I've accomplished. At first I wasn't even sure if it's visible, but now that I look at the –

Picture I took 4 months ago, and at the picture from today. The difference is HUGE. I can't believe it's me (in both pictures)

So if you decide to go on a diet, do it. It's really worth it, I am still far from my goal, but I'm slowly getting there, and if I could do it, –

You can, too.

I'm very embarrassed to post my before and after pictures, but I will still do so, I hope it can motivate and encourage other people too!
(ps. I can't tell how much weight I've lost because I haven't weighted myself for a month but it's about - 20kg)
#weightloss