THREAD: I am now at the end (hopefully) of a week-long journey through the Kafkaesque maze of the Government’s COVID-19 self-isolation bureaucracy. It strikes me as a perfect illustration of how inept and amateurish the governance of the UK has sadly become. 1/

I visited Belgium last week, which at the time was on the exempt list of countries not requiring returnees to self-isolate. I filled out the form stating all the relevant details. It was checked on return to the UK last Thursday. Belgium became non-exempt two days later. 2/

On Saturday, an electronic voice message was left on my home answering machine purporting to come from something called the “UK Government’s Coronavirus Isolation Assurance Team”. No return contact details were provided, so I thought it might be a scam. 3/

Another message, stating the same, was left on my mobile phone later the same day. It said that another attempt to contact me would be made the following day. Still no return contact details for me to follow up. Also no mention of any Government agency of that name online. 4/

The following day I got this text message. Note the difference in the name of the purported Government agency. Also, again, no return contact details. By now I was very suspicious that this was a scam, thinking that there might have been some kind of data breach. 5/

But I couldn’t work out what the scam might involve. None of the numbers I had been contacted by would take a return call and my mobile provider confirmed that the text was not sent by a premium rate line. I wanted to clear this up, but had no means to do so. 6/

This morning I was visited at my home address by the police. I was out shopping at the time, so they called me on my mobile. They had been sent by @PHE_uk to check that I was self-isolating. I went through my travel details and they agreed that I did not need to self-isolate. 7/

I then became anxious that this might be part of the scam, so I called the police who were eventually able to establish that one of their officers had indeed just visited my home. They also confirmed that @PHE_uk had been informed that no breach of regulations had occurred. 8/

I am very grateful to @ASPolice for the way they handled this, but what a shocking waste of their time when their resources are stretched to the limit. And what staggering incompetence by @PHE_uk to needlessly put me through this bizarre and stressful experience. 9/

I have spent several days being pursued by some shadowy entity - possibly governmental, possibly criminal - with no apparent digital presence and no contact details. Now I have my answer, but it’s one that reflects very poorly on the state of this country. 10/end