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My recent experiences with modesty culture; a short thread. About a month ago, I was harassed at the bus stop. Nothing overly dangerous, but a guy stopped by and whilst there were others also waiting, he specifically asked me if I wanted a lift. This isn& #39;t the first time >
> it& #39;s happened and I& #39;m not sure if it was the same guy. But the last time, there was a desi "aunty" who quickly realised I was being harassed, and stepped in to help. The man in the car sped off. This time, the man kept persisting. "Come in sister, it& #39;s awful weather let me >
> just drop you off up the road." I ignored him at first, then told him quite sternly that I was fine waiting for the bus. He then asked if I was married, or if I have a boyfriend. I just looked away trying to ignore him. He eventually got fed up with my lack of response and >
> shouted "don& #39;t know why you& #39;re so stuck up, you& #39;re effing ugly anyway" before driving off. I wasn& #39;t hurt by what he said, but it was his self entitlement, thinking he could just harass a random woman and expect her to reciprocate. It& #39;s a big but very tightly knit community, >
> but I didn& #39;t recognise him, and he obviously had no idea who I was. I made the mistake of telling my family about what had happened. The first question was, "what were you wearing?" I mean, what did they expect me to be wearing? I was wearing what I always do, abaya, hijab. >
> but even if I was wearing a short skirt (I wouldn& #39;t), why should that even be a question? It was decided that it would be "safer" if I wore niqab on the way to and from work, to deter any unwanted attention. I& #39;ve been wearing it for over a month now, it& #39;s uncomfortable in the >
> heat, but I kind of like the idea of being incognito. It& #39;s a strange feeling. Nobody looks at me, not even eye contact. Nobody is standing over me with a big stick forcing me to wear it, but coercion comes in many different forms. I& #39;ve worn it before in my late teens / early >
> 20& #39;s, and I really feel awful for those who are forced to wear it against their will. But I can totally understand why some do embrace it. It& #39;s not they love covering their face, but it& #39;s sometimes what they need to do in order to be able to get on with their lives. The point >
> of this thread is to highlight how some women can be pressured into modesty, but also to point out that no matter what we wear, some men will always harass us. Muslim Society must learn that we are not to be blamed for the actions of men. Instead of telling us to cover >
> ourselves, concentrate on educating these men, so that they don& #39;t see and treat us like objects, ornaments or possessions. Sorry for the rather not so short thread.
