Thread by @GoatSarah, Who wants me to explain, from a nautical perspective, why this is [...]

Who wants me to explain, from a nautical perspective, why this is literally impossible?

It’s feasible to do it from a civil engineering point of view, I suppose. The water is about 50 metres deep. I guess we could do that.

HOWEVER, there are two things in the eastern English Channel that present much bigger logistical and political problems.

The most obvious one is the UK/France border.

I’ve marked it here on my nautical chart.

First observation: note that’s a LOT further out to sea at the western end than the crowdfunder anticipates.

The brexists of Britain First aren’t going to be happy with building it that close in. Why? Well, remember how they posted about having a “navy”?

Their “navy” is actually some bloke who fishes out of Sovereign Harbour at Eastbourne. Building the wall where the crowdfunder wants it cuts him off from his favourite fishing spot, er, I mean “patrol grounds”.

There’s also the small matter of the Dover to Calais ferries.

How are they going to get through? Some sort of hole arrangement, I expect?

Fun currents through there with the tide race you’ve just created. That’s gonna be w riot in a force 8 blow. Rather you than me.

But I digress. Presumably after pointing out the first of these glaring issues, the gammons decide to build their wall along the actual border.

Allow me to introduce the second of the two things I mentioned were in the Channel, and this one’s a doozy…

Allow me to introduce the Straight of Dover traffic separation scheme (TSS to its friends).

You’re gonna love this. The Strait of Dover is the literal busiest shipping lane in the entire world. At its narrowest it’s only 21 miles and there are sand banks. Look at this traffic. LOOK AT IT

Those green and red vessels are bulk carriers and supertankers.

These are the biggest ships in the world. Hundreds of metres long. Twenty stories high. You think American aircraft carriers are big? You could carry an American aircraft carrier on these ships. Sailing near them is terrifying. They’re ENORMOUS. They take, like, ten miles to stop

To avoid them running into each other, the maritime authorities of the UK and France cooperate to run the TSS. The westbound lane is near the UK coast. The eastbound lane is near the French coast. Going through the straits of Dover? You MUST obey the TSS.

It’s a literal motorway at sea (and to further annoy the gammons, you sail on the right).

And not just any motorway. The busiest in the entire world. This is your M25 at Heathrow, but wetter.

Now here’s the thing.

The border doesn’t run along the middle of the TSS. Between Dover and Calais it does. Look:

The TSS is in purple. I’ve drawn the border on in black. So far so good. The central reservation of the TSS is also the border. Let’s look at some other bits tho.

Here we are off Dungeness. Oh dear, the westbound lane starts in France and switches over to being entirely in England. Oops.

So what can you do? You can’t put a wall in the middle of the TSS. Ships to and from the UK, France, Germany, The Netherlands, Russia, Denmark, Belgium, etc etc etc use it.

Sure, it’s uk sovereign waters but destroying that shipping lane will piss off THE ENTIRE WORLD.

So good luck with that.

What can you do? Build it in the central reservation and cede several miles of gammony UK fishing grounds to France? I might actually break the habit of a lifetime and watch Question Time just to see Farage explode with rage.

But this gets better.

Here’s the eastern end of the TSS, off Dunkirk. Again, I’ve highlighted the border.

Note it goes through what looks like (and is) a roundabout.

For supertankers.

And then the westbound carriageway stops being in France and starts being in Belgium. Details.

I mean, I don’t need to go on, do I?

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