I went to Cafe Seasons (address later in thread) today. It is owned by one of the people arrested on Monday for fraud, colluding with foreign powers and splitting the motherland. I came ostensibly for lunch, but I was in fact looking for evidence against this shop! (1)

Let’s start with fraud allegations. The food is quite good for its price, but so so good as to justify such long queues. I have reason to suspect that the shop brought in actors to create the fraudulent impression of a roaring trade. (2)

The shop’s price also creates suspicions. A plate of rice for HK$58 and soup noodles for HK$48 in #HongKong’s CBD (both served with tea) is such good value that there must be something fishy going on! (3)

Turning to the food. Toast is a European thing, a sure sign of foreign collution. The scrambled eggs were so smooth that it is reasonable to suspect that the eggs colluded with foreign milk. (4)

The Cha Siu (roast pork) in the rice is now such a distinctly #HongKong way of cooking pork that the very act of making and serving it on Chinese soil must constitute an attempt to split the motherland. (5)

As for the satay beef instant noodles, it’s clearly a treasonous dish. While satay sauce originated in Fujian, it has long been corrupted by South East Asia’s added spice and sweetness to make it more tasty. Clearly a South China Sea gambit. (6)

Instant noodles is a Japanese thing. Japan is motherland’s natural enemy. The way this shop managed to make it so springy and not soggy is clearly an attempt to brainwash #HongKong people into becoming Japanese Quislings. The wickedness behind this is barbaric and inhuman. (7)

If even I can find so much evidence of this shop’s evil deeds, I am sure all of you can find even more evidence. You should all do your bit for motherland by going this shop to eat and expose its conspiracies. (8)

Disclaimer: Of course this thread is just mindless facetiousness on my part. Nothing here constitutes legal analysis or advice, nor any expression of view as regards any laws that we must surely know are good for #HongKong’s stability and prosperity. (9)

Eatery:

Cafe Seasons
Ground Floor
88 Des Voeux Road Central
Central
Hong Kong

(10 and ends)