🍊the grapefruit method 💦

✨a modern au wangxian thread✨

setting: canadian west coast (just because)🌲🛳️
background: late 20’s wangxian meet at a party held by a mutual friend. despite a rocky start, they eventually start chatting and spend the whole evening together. after exchanging numbers, they realize they live in different cities.
regardless, they decide to stay in touch. eventually, after figuring out they’re both attracted to men, and as it turns out, each other, they start sexting.
mostly suggestive photos at first, maybe a couple lewd messages on wwx’s part when he’s feeling extra saucy.
and then lwj sends a dick pic.
and wwx is like, /holy shit/
“wow!!! just how big are you??”
and lwj sends his measurements both in length AND girth and wwx has to Sit Down because, HOLY SHIT.
now, wwx is no stranger to giving head. but he’s pretty sure he’s never taken anything quite so… thick, in his mouth. so he says, “hey lan zhan, has anyone ever been able to take all of that in their mouth? >:)”
and lwj says, “no :\\ 😬
wwx: “well it’s a good thing you have me then”
lwj: 🥵
(lwj asks for his, too. wwx is happy to oblige with a photo.)

but now wwx is a little bit worried that he promised more than he can deliver. he’s like how do i do this without permanently fucking something up in my throat!!
and over the course of the next few days, they talk about their relationship, what they can give, what they expect. they agree they don’t mind dating long distance, since neither of them were expecting a relationship at this point in their lives anyway.
and it’s no pressure. they make plans to see each other in a month’s time, so wwx realizes he’s got WORK to do if he wants to make good on his promise. he does what anybody else would do in such a situation (well, okay, maybe not /anybody/): looks up how-to videos.
and he discovers the grapefruit method.
and he watches the video.
he is both disgusted AND delighted.
// as an aside, here is the video. PLEASE be aware of the volume (turn it down, trust me) and the somewhat NSFW nature!!
welp. wwx’d better practice. so he looks up the location of the sex shop nearest his apartment and, armed with lwj’s measurements, goes out to buy a dildo. because none of the ones he has are big enough. go figure.
so he walks into the sex shop and there’s a girl at the counter with piercings all up one ear and brightly-dyed red chin-length hair and a little pink/purple/blue pin on her shirt. he immediately feels at ease. AND she gives off the vibe that she knows her shit.
so he marches up to the counter with the note on his phone with lwj’s measurements, and proceeds to ask if they have any dildos in that size. you know. no big deal. it’s what this shop is here for, right?
and the cashier is like ‘oh for sure, let me bring out the options!’ and seems thrilled that somebody has come into her shop Knowing What They Want. wwx says great! realistic weight and texture please!
so she brings out a couple of different dildos and lets wwx hold them and get a feel for them. and he’s like “okay, cool. so i’m in a LDR and my boyfriend is coming into town in a month-
-and i haven’t given him head yet and he’s uhhh," he gestures at the dildos, "yeah. anyway. i need to practice.”
the cashier takes his oversharing in stride and nods enthusiastically. she knows her shit! wwx wants to talk to somebody who knows their shit! it’s perfect.
she makes some recommendations (‘throat numbing sprays are pointless, just learn how to relax your throat’) and tips for doing said relaxing of his throat muscles.
she even gives him some dietary recommendations for things like cranberries, pineapples, lots of hydration. (for flavour, she says.)
he takes notes. she recommends flavored lube and he doesn’t think he’ll need it, but-
-he buys it anyway because she seems pretty jazzed, and sometimes it’s fun to mix things up, right?
as suspected, she really is a fountain of knowledge. she gives him tips for how to breathe while deepthroating,
what to watch out for in terms of pain/what’s normal, don’t force it if it hurts, etc.
and wwx is like ‘wow i have so much homework but at least it's the fun kind!’ and she just laughs and rings him up, and tells him to come back any time he needs more recommendations.
so wwx takes his new purchases home, & stops by the grocery store on the way to pick up an inordinate number of naval oranges since he’s on meds which will interact with grapefruit. he tells his roommate, nhs, to scram for the afternoon and no he won’t be explaining himself.
he locks himself in his room with his dick-themed goodie bag, and he really, /really/ wants to send a pic to lwj, but that would ruin the surprise!!! so he restrains himself. and he gets to work.
// okay i have to go for a bit! i'll see if i can post more tonight but otherwise i'll resume sometime tomorrow 🥳

and since i forgot to mention it in my intro tweet, if it's not already obvious: this thread is 🔞😂
the first thing wwx discovers: his mouth is a LOT smaller than he thought it was?? like. opening-wise and also how much he can fit inside of it.
he doesn’t know what to do with this information.
he might be a little perturbed.
then again, this isn’t a simple up-size from his usual fare. it’s not /magnitudes/ larger but… well, imagine the gap between olympic gold medalist katie ledecky and whoever came in second, 46!!!! seconds later.
it’s……. yeah, a lot more than wwx has had in his mouth at once. so maybe his mouth isn’t small, it’s lwj’s dick that is too huge.
the second thing he discovers: maybe the flavored lube is a good idea after all, if not for the actual flavor, then for the fact that it’ll ease the way a little better than spit will
and the third: the cashier was NOT kidding when she said he should relax. there sure is nothing like discovering your jaw gets kind of stuck when it's tense. especially while you have a giant dildo crammed in your mouth!!!!
so, rubbing his aching jaw, wwx stares at the monstrosity. he got that thing in like, a QUARTER of the way. at BEST.
he wonders if he should consult his roommate (nhs: self-proclaimed slut of the year) after all.
he doesn’t exactly want to do it in person, and he can’t anyway since he basically sexiled his roommate to practice blowing a dildo, so he goes with the most appealing option by default: text messaging
[wwx]: incoming personal question alert
[nhs]: :3c
[wwx]: how big was the biggest dick u’ve ever sucked
[nhs]: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
[nhs]: and WHY would you like to know that!! >:3c
[wwx]: just answer the question??
[nhs]: idk i didn’t measure it. probably like 9 inches tho
[wwx]: holy shit???
[wwx]: but also I feel a lot better and more confident in myself now
[nhs]: wei-xiong…………
[nhs]: is there something u want to share with your good friend sangsang?
[wwx]: no. so how’d you get that in your mouth?
[nhs]: no gag reflex :3c
[wwx]: !!! teach me your ways, nie-laoshi
[nhs]: does that mean i can come home now
[wwx]: …yeah i guess
it’s weird at first, but nhs is so matter-of-fact in telling wwx what to do (with demonstrations!) he has no choice but to get over it.
wwx still doesn’t tell nhs what the oranges are for because he’s embarrassed about it. sue him.
his throat is understandably sore the next day, but wwx /does/ get the chance to practice in the apartment by himself without nhs’, uh, guidance, so he decides to take it. for the next little while, it becomes part of his daily routine. he even takes videos, to show progress!
by day 8, he can get the dildo almost entirely into his mouth. maybe it’ll be fun to show lwj the videos later on. a memento of the all preparation he went through just so he could give lwj the best head of his life. well. he HOPES it's the best.
(and, yes, he does anal training as well, albeit not with the same toy. yes, he has to make another trip and drop another $60, but it’s worth it. probably. shamelessly, he takes videos of these sessions as well.)
he thinks he’s gotten pretty good at the grapefruit method, too, and so what if he happens to be going through these oranges at a ridiculous pace.
(maybe he just likes citrus, nhs, have you ever thought of THAT?)
meanwhile, lwj seems to be skilled in the art of driving wwx CRAZY.
he doesn't send any more dick pics. that seems to have been a one-off, much to wwx's disappointment.
but, he DOES send photos of himself that seem innocent at first, but when wwx looks closer...
… “lan zhan, is that a carrot in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“wei ying.”
“whaaat!!! it’s an honest question!”
and it doesn’t hurt that lwj has an, ahem, variety of pant styles he likes to wear. skinny jeans leaving nothing to the imagination? check. loose flowy pants that give perfectly-shadowed little hints of what’s hiding underneath? you betcha.
wwx has a whole album dedicated to lwj’s grey sweatpants collection.
wwx might even go out and buy some of his own because it turns out they make his ass look amazing, among other things.
lwj seems to appreciate these a lot and occasionally sends photos of a more… NSFW nature
shirt up, stomach bare...
the evidence of lwj’s “appreciation” splattered across his flushed skin...
only the lower half of his face is in the shot, but he’s biting his lip and it drives wwx /wild/.
getting comfortable in front of the camera by now, wwx starts to be… a little more shameless with the photos he sends.
the tip of his cock peeking out over the waistband of his boxer briefs...
underwear pulled down to reveal the trail of hair below his navel, one hand grabbing his hard length…
photos of his ass with only the base of some of his smaller dildos showing.
things like that.
why was wwx graced with only the one dick pic, you ask?
because lwj knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. :)
even if he gets off pretty frequently — and even MORE frequently since he started receiving regular… “material” custom made, just for him — wwx has never felt more on edge. how could he not, with a boyfriend who sends THIRST TRAP PHOTOS ALL DAY
it becomes a little competition, he thinks, to see who can make the other more turned on to the point of having to do something about it before the other does. wwx is delighted that he wins more often than not, and demands the Loser Take Photos or it didn’t happen.
it's a fun way to pass the dasy. before wwx knows it,

it is.


he wakes up and he’s hard as hell. he checks his phone to find a photo of lwj eating a banana (or rather, fellating a banana, 7/8ths of the way into his mouth), and nearly falls off the bed. oh boy.
// it's a quarter to one in the morning!! I'm gonna sleep!! 😂

but, you will all be pleased to know that I do have a plan for this thread, and that I totally derailed myself today. I think it worked out for the best ;)

don't forget to bookmark this, and I'll see you tomorrow!
//good morning if you saw a typo in the thread no you didn't

anyway i've got some good food for you today so buckle up 😌🍌
if wwx can survive until lwj arrives, they’ll get a WHOLE WEEK together at a really nice hotel downtown
far away from nosy roommates and neighbours!
wwx just has to make sure he can focus on driving when he goes to pick lwj up later!
(wwx: what the fuck lan zhan, a whole week at a hotel?? that’s so much money???)
(lwj, a trust fund baby with more family wealth than he knows what to do with: 🤷🏻‍♂️)
wwx has teased at least once that he got himself a rich bf and he hasn’t even put out yet, and no the photos don’t count (even if he does tease about them. he thinks lwj might like the whole ‘sugar baby roleplay’ angle sometime in the future… he’ll have to ask)
[wwx]: you all packed and ready? 😘
[lwj]: I have been packed for a week.
[wwx]: ooh. someone’s eager 😏
[lwj]: Yes.
[wwx]: 🥵🥵🥵
[wwx]: so whatcha bringin~
[lwj]: Clothing and a few surprises.
[wwx]: ooh?
[lwj]: Yes. Is there anything in particular you would like me to pack?
[wwx]: you’re already packing everything i want (¬‿¬)
[lwj]: Hm.
[wwx]: well it’s TRUE
[wwx]: i might have a few surprises of my own too (¬‿¬)
[lwj]: I look forward to them. I am leaving for the ferry now.
[wwx]: drive saaafe~
[lwj]: I will.
[lwj]: ❤️
[wwx]: 🙈🙈🙈
wwx doesn’t /pace/ around the apartment. but nhs does make a comment about wearing the carpet down, so he tries to…
and lie down.
and sit again.
and now he’s in the kitchen.
nhs: “why don’t you go for a walk or something damn”
wwx glares at him a little but, nhs is right. so wwx takes his suitcase down to his car. paces around in the apartment parking lot rather than IN his apartment because at least nhs won’t judge him down here.
and he’s NERVOUS. like. really really nervous. which means tense muscles. which are not good for blowjobs. fuck.
he massages his jaw. maybe if he calls the hotel he can have them prepare a nice hot bath for when they check in. he’s seen those tubs. they have JETS.
and he /does/ have a few more things he needs to do. errands to run. distractions.
it’ll be at least another hour before the ferry leaves from the other side, so wwx has time to make all of the... preparations he has in mind.
[lwj]: I am walking on to the ferry now. It will leave in 15 minutes.
[wwx]: i’ll be waiting for you!! i’ll be impossible to miss! i’ll be the one standing on the roof of my car yelling about my hot boyfriend visiting 😍😍😍😍😍😍 everyone’s gonna be so jealous
[lwj]: Please do not dent your roof. Of course you’re impossible to miss. You have been since we met.
[lwj]: Everyone will be jealous — of me.
[wwx]: LAN ZHAN!!!
[lwj]: It is simply the truth.
wwx arrives at the terminal and watches the boat come in to dock. he texts lwj, says he’s here, and then checks his phone every 2 seconds after that for a reply. finally,

[lwj]: Walking off now. See you soon. ❤️
[wwx]: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
sooo wwx is afraid he might jump lwj right there in the terminal.
he closes his eyes. takes time to compose himself. then, when he opens them again: there he is: his boyfriend. tall. broad shouldered. even HOTTER than wwx remembered because phone pictures do NOT do him justice.
and he’s striding toward wwx with a /very/ intent expression.
wwx can feel his eyes from across the way as lwj approaches the car pulling a medium-sized rolling suitcase.
lwj sets it down. stands in front of wwx. every muscle is tensed. he looks ready to pounce.
composure, who?????
wwx launches himself at lwj, throws his arms around his neck, and hugs him tight. and lwj doesn’t even BUDGE, catches wwx like he was made to be there in his arms, and hugs him back.
“lan zhan,” wwx whispers into his neck. “missed you so much.”
“mn. I missed my wei ying too.”
he kisses wwx’s forehead and wwx maybe can’t handle it and hugs him even tighter so his boyfriend won’t see the dumb sappy look on his face. because okay yeah he’s HORNY but he also REALLY MISSED LWJ and he’s got a lot of feelings ok
once they’re in the car, wwx beams at him and lwj’s usually neutral expression softens. wwx’s heart is probably going to bust out of his chest but it’s nbd. nbd. n… b… d.
he starts the long drive to the hotel. lwj puts his hand on wwx’s thigh (!!!) and they talk, but wwx is still nervous. he REALLY wants this to go well. thankfully, they’re off to a great start!
…..until they reach the second set of lights on the way into town.
there had been no signs of trouble on the drive up the peninsula to the terminal.
there are a few more cars than usual between the second and third traffic lights on the way back to town.
a pit forms in wwx’s stomach as they finally pass through the third traffic light and he sees the red tail lights trailing all the way down the hill as they slow down, and finally stop. “ah,” he says. “we might be here for a while.”
“there’s a side road up ahead, but… might take us a bit to get there. and everyone else is going to take it too.” he glances over at lwj with an apologetic grimace, and is met by dark eyes giving him an unabashed onceover.
“aiyah, lan zhan! you just got here, how can you be so shameless already?”
“wei ying.” lwj says his name with a tone that probably means: ‘no, wei ying, you are the shameless one for sending lewd photos of yourself while I was in public’
wwx grins. “well. /i/ have to keep both hands on the wheel. for safety.”
“but,” he looks over at lwj again, delighted to find lwj has noticed how much room there is between the driver and passenger seats. “you have no such responsibility.”
wwx winks and is delighted to find that lwj’s ears turn pink. he pretends to turn his attention back to the road. moments later, a warm hand slides over his leg near his groin, then travels down toward his knee with one finger dragging a firm line down his inner thigh.
wwx’s lips part and he takes in a long, quiet breath at the sensation. “so,” he breathes. “what do you want to do while you’re here?”
lwj pauses. wwx knows what’s coming next, but he still shivers when he hears it in lwj’s deep, desire-rich voice: “hmm. you.”
wwx rolls his eyes playfully and tries to hide how affected he is. he laughs, “obviously. but where do you want to go?”
“the hotel.”
wwx has never cursed a traffic jam more vehemently in his entire life.
it’s 20 minutes before they start to move. during that time, lwj discovers no fewer than five places on wwx's body that, when touched, drive him absolutely /wild/.

the worst part is, none of those places are his dick. which is rock hard, straining painfully against his jeans.
“lan zhan,” he gasps.


“have mercy on your poor boyfriend.”

a finger drags so close to his dick he can feel the warmth of it through the fabric, and he shivers. “mmm... no.”
wwx breaks his rule and takes one hand off the wheel, working open his button.

he’s so hard, the zipper slides down most of the way on its own, relieving the tension a little but not nearly enough.

“lan zhan, /please/”
“wei ying.” the hand on his thigh tightens its grip.

“lan zhan-”

lwj licks his lips. his voice takes on a disapproving edge: “you should know better. road head is dangerous.”

he slides his hand up to wwx's stomach, and over until it's juuust out of reach of wwx's dick.
// well! it's bed time :) help me decide what happens next!

the emojis don't necessarily indicate anything about the options. ;)
they’re halfway up the hill now, creeping almost inch by inch. it feels like lwj’s hand is doing the same.

finally, the side of his hand brushes against the head of wwx’s cock through his underwear.
with a gasp, wwx’s hips buck up, pushing the entire bulge under lwj’s palm for a fleeting, /blissful/ moment.

“ah, you keep that up,” wwx says, voice rough, “you’ll ruin the fun before we even get there.”
“you can hold off,” lwj says evenly. he slides his hand into wwx’s jeans and rests his hand over the length of wwx’s dick, pressing into the base and tracing little circles.
wwx grits his teeth and lets out a harsh breath. he allows himself ONE upward thrust, just to get a modicum of relief, but it doesn't really... help.

and lwj, the smug bastard, seems to know exactly the effect he’s causing. wwx cannot believe he’s dating such a cruel man.
“you know we’re about forty minutes away,” he tries, switching tactics. “are you sure /you/ can hold out that long?”


okay, so they’re playing /that/ game, are they?
wwx’s mind starts going over all the side roads he can take which don’t see a lot of traffic. if he can pull over for just a little while-

as if lwj can read his thoughts, he says, with a squeeze of wwx’s dick, “if you make it to the hotel without coming in your pants…”
wwx waits a beat. and another. “...then?” he breathes.

in response, lwj’s hand slides even deeper into his pants, working under the tight fabric to cup his whole package. “then i’ll know you’re ready.”
“for /what/”

lwj smiles, and doesn’t respond.

when they finally escape the traffic jam, wwx feels like he is about to explode. lwj’s hand is still on him, stroking so slowly he can’t get any real friction. /torture/. he’s pretty sure there are laws against this sort of thing?
“i think it’s only fair that you touch yourself too, if you think you can hold out,” wwx says once they reach town. the hardness in lwj’s pants hasn’t escaped his notice, nor have the miniscule adjustments lwj has been making to his position this entire time.
“who says I play fair?”
they arrive at the hotel. their luggage is taken, whisked away upstairs to be ready in their room once they finish checking in.

wwx does his best to conceal himself as they enter the ornate red-brick building.
lwj keeps a firm arm around wwx’s waist the whole time he speaks to the desk clerk. it feels almost possessive, and wwx shivers at the underlying promise, at the calmness in lwj’s voice.
he thinks of the surprises he packed away in his suitcase.

he wonders if they’ll even get to make use of the nice bath he called ahead for or if they’ll jump each other the moment the door is closed
the desk clerk hands them each a keycard for their room and wishes them a pleasant stay.

they get in the elevator.

the doors slide shut.
wwx is so keyed up he’s pretty sure he’s about to leak through his jeans.

“fuck,” he whispers.

“mn,” lwj agrees. he clenches and unclenches his fist as the ascend.

the floor numbers light up one by one.

the doors open.
this could go either one of two ways. flash poll!
they barely make it halfway down the hallway before lwj has wwx pinned up against the wall.
his lips are feverishly hot, slotting against wwx’s like they were made to be there. and then he’s inside wwx’s mouth, and there’s a knee between his thighs, and it feels so good and so right wwx is POSITIVE he’s about to come right there where anyone could walk by.
lwj’s fingers tangle in wwx’s hair and he swallows wwx’s moans, tilting his head to get a better angle.

he pulls away, nipping wwx’s bottom lip as he does, and then it’s over before wwx can process that it began.

they stare at each other, breathing heavily.
pupils dilated wide, lwj’s eyes are nearly black. and fixated on wwx’s lips. his own mouth is red and shiny with spit and wwx would like to lean in and suck on his bottom lip but there are also /other/ things he’d like to be sucking on.

“to the room,” he gasps between breaths.
they do not /run/ down the hall, but wwx is glad the key cards are, you know, /cards/ instead of having to fumble with a key in a lock.

the moment they’re inside the room, lwj clicks the door shut, pushes wwx against a wall, and kisses him silly.
wwx works at lwj’s buttons, and at some point he gets a hand down his pants but then he’s grabbing lwj’s ass and spinning them toward the bed.

he hasn’t even looked at the room yet, but it looks /massive/. more like a suite. lwj really DID go all out, holy shit
lwj’s knees hit the bed and he sits down and wwx clambors on top of him, holding his face in both hands as his tongue dives into lwj’s mouth.

hands finding his ass, wwx rolls his hips, grinds his length to get the friction he’s been denied for too long.
he stands up on his knees, straddling either side of lwj’s body so lwj can get himself situated properly on the bed.

the next thing wwx knows, his shirt is being pulled off and he's bare-chested and lwj is /handsy/.
lwj must have some impressive core strength because he sits up with what wwx is pretty sure is sheer force of will. he wraps his arms around wwx, pulls him closer.

his hips meet wwx’s every downward thrust; his hands explore every part of wwx they can reach.
he breaks the kiss only to mouth along wwx’s jaw, to bite the lobe of his ear, to suck little marks in a trail down his neck.

wwx’s desperation returns to him tenfold and he’s now /absolutely positive/ he’s going to come in his pants if this continues.
lwj seems to be aware. he goes momentarily still under wwx and pulls away to look him in the eyes before rolling them over in the bed so he’s slotted between wwx’s legs.

oh. oh no, this is going to be /very/ embarrassing if lwj doesn’t stop very soon. “lan zhan, I’m going to-”
the heat in his gut is rapidly approaching its crescendo. but he doesn’t stop; his thrusts grow even more frantic. “going to-”

above him, lwj looks as wrecked as wwx feels. he looks down between them and his lip curls into a self-satisfied smirk, his hips increasing their pace.
wwx is about to ruin his clothing but he doesn’t want to stop. he /can’t/ stop.

he’s so desperate, lwj has brought him to the edge so many times and denied him every time, but now-

lwj nuzzles along wwx’s jaw and growls in his ear, “come for me, wei ying.”
// *boards up windows, closes curtains, locks all doors*

okay I think I'm safe...

:) thanks for reading along, that's all for tonight, folks! 💖💖💖
one second wwx is so turned on it hurts, and the next, his brain clicks off and his body floods with pure bliss. he cries out brokenly as he shudders through his release, mind locked in blanked-out euphoria.

when he regains coherence, he’s panting for breath.
his muscles go lax and he melts back against the bed.

lwj slowly comes into focus. first, the expression on his face, shadowed and wanting.
then, the presence of his body poised atop wwx—the weight of him, the movement of his hips, the hard line of his erection pressing insistently into wwx’s thigh.
“holy fuck, sweetheart,” wwx mumbles. the wetness in his pants feels distant and abstract. lingering waves of pleasure, rippling through his limbs, quiet down into comfortable satisfaction.

he lets out a contented hum as lwj leans down to kiss him.
it’s slow, measured, but wwx can feel the hunger behind it. such restraint! he’s going to have so much fun unravelling every last thread of lwj’s control.
“I had-” wwx starts when lwj buries his face into his neck again. “hmm, that feels nice. I called the hotel this morning and asked them to have a bath ready for us when we got here.”

lwj makes a noise of acknowledgement into his skin.
fully aware that he’s already gotten off while lwj is still hard and bordering on desperate, if his little thrusting motions are anything to go by, wwx murmurs: “if you can hold out, I have a surprise for you after.”

lwj nips at his neck.
as they strip, wwx teases lwj to cover his own mild embarrassment.

“unless you /like/ making me lose control, gege,” he says with a double-wiggle of his eyebrows before bouncing away toward the bathroom to clean himself up.
when he enters, he is delighted to find that the staff really went out of their way: there are scented candles, massage oils, plush towels. the only addition that would make this even better is his boyfriend, and lwj isn’t far behind.
they climb in together. the tub is deep, with the water going up to wwx’s hips when he straddles lwj and puts their foreheads together. he’s feeling sleepy so he lets his eyes flutter closed, lets his body mould against lwj’s.
he drops to put his forehead against lwj’s shoulder instead. lwj takes a deep breath, keeps himself still. he slides his hands up and down wwx’s back.

“wei ying.”


“do you like it when I tell you to lose control?”

“it’s so fucking hot, lan zhan.” wwx yawns.
the motion of lwj’s hands is so soothing. he focuses on that for a bit, not even bothering to tease lwj by wiggling around.

he wakes up to lwj kissing the side of his head, his hands on wwx’s hips.
not moving him, not insistent, but firm. wwx moves back just a little, and ah, /there/ it is. lwj’s steady breathing hitches.

“how long was I asleep?” asks wwx.

“not long,” lwj says, his voice strained. “maybe ten minutes.”
wwx kisses him. he can already feel his own body readying itself for another round, but lwj must be nearly at the point of pain.

he groans, a desperate little noise.

wwx can be merciful, even if his boyfriend isn’t: “you ready to get out now?”

“mn. please.”
“and are you ready for your surprise?”

“/yes/.” ah. the cracks in his composure are spreading. perfect.

wwx nips the corner of lwj’s jaw and removes himself from lwj’s lap. he steps onto the bath mat, and the water splashes around as lwj stands up as well.
when they first went into the bathroom, wwx took a moment to clean himself up, and lwj got in first. so he didn’t get a really good look before, ahem, climbing aboard.

so now, wwx turns around, and, okay. okay. WOW.
seeing lwj in all his glory is is WAY better than having a single photo and nothing but a dildo to make up for the distance.

they dry off.
wwx guides lwj by the hand out to the main room and sits him down in one of the (very nice) arm chairs in the corner which he has deemed to be approximately the perfect height for him to kneel in front of.
he says, “lan zhan. i have a very important question.”

lan zhan pauses. “...mn.”

wwx holds both of his knees in his hands. he squeezes and asks, "are you allergic to citrus."
...the end https://twitter.com/jinrudelan/status/1294811860097630208?s=20
I'm kidding. Please do not come to my home with torches and pitchforks.
"are you allergic to citrus."

lwj blinks. and shakes his head.

so wwx bites his lip and says, “okay, great! now, how do you feel about blindfolds?”

lwj is like oh,,, ok,,,,,,

(and his dick jumps, so it really likes the idea of /that/, apparently)
“close your eyes.”

lwj does.

wwx retrieves the black silk blindfold and the little lunchkit with the, uh, pre-prepared orange he readied before leaving for the ferry.
(nhs saw it and went “.....so many things make sense, all of a sudden”)
“ready?” wwx asks.

lips parted, lwj nods.

“out loud.”

there’s a truly delicious, desperate edge to his voice when he says, “yes. I’m ready.”

it makes wwx squirm as he ties it around lwj’s eyes, adjusting the fit so it keeps snug.
lwj parts his knees so wwx can shuffle between them. his cock is so, so hard and curved a good ways up his stomach.

and wwx is still like 'wow, big, hnnng' but he's not like /oh no/ about it, because this is exactly what he’s been practicing for.
he licks and sucks at the head and lwj groans the moment his tongue makes contact. he meets every touch with little gasps, muscle spasms, hitching breaths.

wwx is barely closing his lips around him. he’s got the feeling lwj isn’t going to last very long.
all the practice wwx has been doing with the dildo has been worth it for the way lwj writhes beneath him. and the dildo doesn’t make such nice noises, so obviously wwx is having a great time.
after he’s teased enough, he pulls back.

lwj /whines/ and wwx is still soft from his orgasm, so he breaks down immediately.

he gets out the orange, briefly mortified in his post-orgasmic state, that he’s about to do this /as his first blowjob with his boyfriend/.
but he gets over it. he says, “you ready, sweetheart?”

“mn-” lwj replies, but the noise is cut even more short than usual-

-because wwx just- slides the orange over lwj’s dick and takes it into his mouth, /all the way/, in one smooth motion.
it’s hard to tell—because, by nature, this is /really loud/—but wwx THINKS he hears lwj swear.

lwj probably marks the armchair from how hard he grips with both hands.
and like. wei ying is used to the noise. he's been practicing with the dildo a LOT.

but there's poor lwj, already a little on edge because of… well, everything. it's /loud/ as /fuck/ so his ears are redder than red because this is, wwx will admit, OBSCENE.
// interrupting this thread to give you this verbatim quote from @ariskamalt during the planning phase:

and there I was, an orange around my dick (to the tune there I was, bbq sauce on my titties)

and now back to your regularly scheduled programming… //
lwj can't even catch his breath; he loses control of his voice and starts moaning and wei ying thinks it's the hottest thing he's heard in his life.
and then lwj gasps. he tries to speak. it takes a few tries. “wei- wei ying- /wei ying/”
and wwx thinks, /oh/, and moans around lwj's dick and nods into it, giving permission.
and then lwj's hands are in his hair.

now, wwx has given head before. he knows what comes next. lwj’s orgasm STILL surprises him even WITH the warning.
it’s a full-on stream, straight down wwx's throat, and he struggles not to choke as it keeps on coming and coming and /coming/-
and lwj is coming apart beneath him, shuddering thighs, clenched abs, flexing hands— and then he goes slack with a sigh.
finally, it slows down. wwx pulls off with whatever he couldn’t swallow of lwj’s release dribbling down his chin. sucks in a deep lungful of air, tries to catch his breath.

he licks his lips, grinning as lwj’s hands drop from his hair.

he tosses the abused orange aside.
at some point, lwj's blindfold came off, so it's just hanging loosely around his neck now and he's watching wwx through half-lidded eyes.

he looks utterly dazed.
wwx was right, he /didn’t/ last.

barely a couple of minutes, in fact, but what an INTENSE couple of minutes they were.
and messy. there is orange juice EVERYWHERE and wwx is glad the floors aren’t carpet and the chair is leather and not fabric.
he drops his sticky cheek to lwj's thigh (who shivers, and LAUGHS when wei ying nuzzles him because he’s ticklish, and wwx thinks maybe that’s the cutest thing in the world and also he’d like to hear lwj's laugh forever?)
when he can finally talk again, lwj says, “wow.”
wwx replies, sing-song, “i've been practicing, lan zhan~ i went to a shop and got a dildo and everything~” he blinks up at him, fluttering his eyelashes.

but lwj's face does… a /thing/ that wwx can’t read, and momentarily he panics because was that not… a good thing... to do?
but then lwj licks his lips and stares at wwx's mouth.

he says, "me, too."
wwx blinks. wait. what?

he shuffles backward so lwj can get up.
lwj grabs his hand and pulls him up too, then leads him to the bed—with a nicely-folded towel swan at the foot, which somehow miraculously survived their earlier activities but is now swept off unceremoniously onto the floor—and pushes him down onto it.

“wait here.”
so, wwx, naked and a little covered in orange juice and cum, is now lying on his back.

lwj returns to his side with a package of wipes and lovingly cleans up his face for him (he has a smug little quirk to his lips. wwx is embarrassed. it’s cute.)
he kisses wwx on the mouth, licking inside to taste himself with a quiet moan. he bites wwx’s lower lip.

then he pulls away and says, “I’ll be right back,” before returning to the bathroom and closing the door.
wwx touches his lips. they’re tingling, and probably super red, and /holy shit that was the largest cock he’s ever put in his mouth/ and his throat isn’t even SORE. /he did it/.
but then he begins to squirm. it’s been a few minutes now, and there’s still no sign of-

there’s a muffled noise from the bathroom. it almost sounds like...
...a moan?
“lan zhan...?”

earlier, hadn't lwj said something about a surprise?

the gears in wwx's mind start turning, and his cock twitches to life between his legs. he watches the bathroom door, practically salivating.

finally, FINALLY, after several long moments, the knob turns.
when lwj emerges, he at first seems a lot more composed than he was earlier, before wwx blew his dick AND his mind.

but, upon further inspection, wwx notes the glassy look in his eyes and the way he’s obviously trying to keep his breathing even. there’s something in his hand.
“I’m waiting, gege,” wwx says, hand sliding over his own cock a couple of times. “were you having fun in there without me? whatcha got there?”

lwj does not respond. he climbs onto the bed, every movement deliberate, and says, “close your eyes.”
“ooh, is it surprise time?” wwx asks, wiggling back and forth with his tongue between his teeth. he obeys.

lwj drags a finger from behind wwx’s ear, down to his collarbone, across his pecs. the bed shifts, and then lwj’s mouth is on wwx’s nipple.
he gasps. his back arches off the bed and his hands fly to lwj’s shoulders. “fuck,” he moans.

lwj, the /jerk/ who discovered how sensitive wwx was there, during the traffic jam. this is entirely unfair. wwx doesn’t know ANY of lwj’s weak spots yet.
and lwj is sucking and teasing and pinching his nipples, and wwx has never come from this before but today has been a day of surprises, hasn’t it.

as if things couldn’t get any worse, lwj kisses down his body and takes the head of his cock into his mouth, and /sucks/.
wwx’s eyes fly open and make contact with lwj’s, which are staring intently up at him. wwx’s cock. is in. his mouth. ohhhh, fuck.

but then lwj pulls off and, still watching him, gathers a little pool of saliva at the front of his mouth. he leans forward-
-and looks down, his long, dark lashes adorning the porcelain skin of his face, and spits, daintily, onto the head of wwx’s cock.
he spreads it with the palm of his hand all over the head and down the shaft. he stays focused on his task, but every so often he glances up to make sure wwx is watching.

and /oh/, is he ever watching.
wwx’s breaths come fast and shallow, and then lwj is leaning down again.

he kisses the head of wwx’s cock, close-mouthed until he flicks his tongue out to tease before he pulls away. he smiles that small but genuine smile of his as he moves to straddle wwx’s hips.
now. they’ve been dating for a month.

they’ve had entire discussions about their preferences, dirty-talked their way through many a phone call masturbation session. lwj has always seemed enthralled with the idea of taking wwx against every available surface.
so wwx is NOT prepared for what lwj is going to do next.

he watches, slack-jawed, as his /incredibly sexy boyfriend/ situates himself over wwx’s spit-slick cock. and lines himself up. and /sinks all the way down/.
and when he’s fully seated, the sounds that have been stuck at the back of wwx’s throat all break free at once: “ohhhhhhhh fuck, oh wow, lan zhan, holy fuck-”

and lan zhan blinks at him. adjusts his knee positioning. smiles, and bites his lip, and rocks back and forth.
lwj has been practicing, and wei ying is /speechless/.

he is too overwhelmed by HOW FUCKING HOT THAT IS to do anything but lie there and stare, open-mouthed, at his beautiful amazing PERFECT boyfriend, who apparently has the ability to just… TAKE him like that!!!
finally, he remembers how to move his limbs and grips lwj by the hips as his boyfriend increases the pace.

lwj leans forward and braces himself on wwx’s chest, sliding his thumbs over both peaked nipples. his mouth hangs slack. despite this, he looks /smug/.
it’s… it’s not going to be much longer. wwx knows this. lwj knows this. he rocks his hips faster, adjusts himself so he can pull most of the way off wwx’s cock before slamming back down.

once again, it builds up way faster than wwx expects. “fuck, lan zhan, please, i’m-”
“i’m gonna- /annnh/!”

wwx grips lwj’s hips for dear life as he is ridden past the point of no return, into oblivion. he has died and his soul has departed, thank you very much!
lwj rests his forehead on wwx’s as wwx comes, and the /angle/- fuck, fuck, it makes him go wild, hips bucking out of control as he empties the last of himself into lwj.

when he comes to, lwj is still rocking a little bit back and forth. their foreheads are still together.
he goes still.

lwj kisses him. he's hard, again.

wwx watches as he jerks himself to completion, with wwx's softening cock still inside, and comes all over wwx's stomach with the /prettiest/ fucked-out expression on his face.
and then lwj lets wwx slide out of him (and yes, that /is/ a big mess and yes lwj /is/ glad he brought the wipes) and he buries his head in wwx's shoulder while wwx strokes his hair.
(and yes, he bites. a little. as a treat.)
together, they bask in the afterglow. then, as lwj finally rolls off to lay on his back, wwx looks at him and smiles. “so.”

lwj looks back at him, sated and sleepy. “mn. so.”

“how was that, ah?”

“mmm.” lwj closes his eyes. “wow.”

“haha, /wow/ is right.”
wwx scoots over to press himself against lwj and drape an arm over him. “so,” he whispers. “you said something about other surprises?”



lwj turns to him and asks, solemnly, “how do you feel about tangerines?”
(it takes the whole week for wwx to realize he was joking.)

🍊🍊🍊 the end!!!!! 🍊🍊🍊

THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who read along, commented, and made my notifs a super fun place to hang out 🥰🥰🥰

thank you especially to @ariskamalt for helping this beauty take shape. 😘

check out more of my writing on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarMilkTea
and since I’m in DIRE need of a new computer chair so I stop hurting my back, and wrists, and everything, I’ll shamelessly plug my ko-fi in case anyone who enjoyed this thread would like to help out ;D https://ko-fi.com/sugarmilktea 
started from the top now we here... let's take it from the top again? ;D https://twitter.com/weiwuxiansnose/status/1293397032149774337?s=20
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