Thread by @Carlsimz, I was about to sleep then I remembered that one time I [...]

I was about to sleep then I remembered that one time I almost fought/ got my ass kicked neCHIGURE KU EPWORTH pamberi pekamusikana kanga Katanga hondo dzacho

Thread perhaps ?

Yeah why not

It was back in 2017 and a charity organization which I am a member of was having one of its outreach programs and at that time it was being held in EPWORTH. My friend(Junior) within the organization invited a friend (The girl we'll call Ayesha, you'll find out why soon

)

Right, as I was getting in to town my phone rang and Junior was asking kuti ndave kupi. " Ndakutosvika mdara ndimirirei kana zvekuti 5 minutes" Akadaro zvake mukomana apa haasati apfuura pakoala coming from Chitungwiza. Ndasvika pa coca cola imwe phone yakapinda zve...

"Sha urikupi, wakamirirwa kunoku" Ko ndagozivei kuti mface wangu atorova wingman business dzese apedza pana Ayesha and other members had been introduced to her boys rese rikatosiyana nako because Ayesha kakari kamusalad last, born and bred in S.A so kakauya ku holiday-

Kumba kwema kazen muno muZimbabwe. Ndakazosvika manje ndikuona a new face chii chii paya then I greeted trying to make her feel wanted zvenhema sezvo ndirini ndaifambira nyaya dze P. R mu Organisation iyi those days apa vanhu varikungonditarisa tarisa zvirifunny ka.

Mface wangu akaenda neni paside zvikanzi mdara ndakuigirai mwana uyo munosimboti nyaya dzekushooter mashot munodzifambira kutopfuura vana Steph Curry ka. Mwana musalad uyu ndewe pa Jozi saka A game yenyu motoburitsa nhasi plus karikunakirwa nemi manje. Ipapo manje-

Ndakatanga kungopanicker nekuti pa live ma sports Aya anoti remei kuside kwangu but manje confidence dzakawanda dzozongodiluter zhet rese. "Tunhu tudiki utu mdara ndopedza bhora apa" Ndakadaro hangu ndichiziva kuti ndo ma1 Aya. "Huh usatye mface wangu, pakawanda pacho"

"Ndandatopedza waiziva unongokakuvadza ne vet yako iya yawairema nayo kuma debate nekuzvima public speaking chii chii" Akadaro Junior ndobva ndaona kuti itori bhora mugedhi chaiyo. And chirungu ndonama zvima British nema American vanotoita sevakafunda kwandiri ka

Fast forward we now in Epworth paya ka ndati ndirove ma Grootman moves angu pamwana wevanhu because ndandakunzi comrade mukuslacker apa mwana ari ega, kunoti "Hi there, mind if we share a seat?" mwana wevanhu ndobva ati "sure thing come sit, was starting to wonder when you"-

Were going to show up

" Ini ahhh

saka bhora rapedzwa ka apa. Kunoti my name is ---- zvikanzi "Simba, Oh I've been told a lot about you by Jr

" Ini ahhh

zvekare. Should have asked kuti zvikanzi. ndakaswera ndichizvuva chirungu ndakatombodhibha kuti ndiri muzezuru

fast forward manje to pakatangira ma1 Ese, we coming from the children's home kuenda papane bhazi pamashops, must be pa overspill opposite Chizungu Primary ndo yandichirikunyatsoziva. Nyaya dzirikutsva ka nechirudzi chemabhunu apa mwana akochekera her arm pane rangu haa sport

Yanga yapera kare ipapo mashot edu anga apfurwa pfurwa ese muchirungu imomo. Ndo patakadhumana nezvigure zvichirova madhanzi azvo pamashops zvakaunganirwa paye. "Agh these clowns freak the hell out of me" Ndini paye manje apa zvirikubva deep down ndaitokwata zvechaizvo

Ko takakura tichinzi zvigure zvinoyera apa zvikakurova haupore and pa fight zvinotsemura big time. Taitoti ukaonekwa sewakuda kunetsa unonzi tokudaidzira chigure. "Dude you playing right, these guys are amazing I see them at carnival all the time. I love them, so fascinating"

Ini ahhh ambuya ava vada kuita chirungu chisina basa manje, love chigure kuita seize, mxm. Ndichiri pakati pekugaya yese iyi ndobva ndadhonzwa zvikanzi "let's go have a closer look" Zvekunzi you overcome your fears zviya amana hazvishandi pachinhu chiri physical like

Chigure. Semunhu anga adhonzwa ndaingoti haa bho trying to fake it but truth be told ndaitonzwa mudumbu. I looked at miss S.A and wasn't she having the time of her life? Vavatori kucarnival zvavo pa eparton apa ko hapana

Ndakazoita kakuvarairwa manje ndikatangawo-

Kunakidzwa imwe iya iya ndichiona zvigure. Hapana kumbotora time paya chimwe chacho chakangotarisa kwatiri chikati masalad aya ndoda kumavhiringa, Chaka picker step yekutoratidza kuti chaiuya kutozopwanya "ALL THE ROME I HAD BUILT IN ONE DAY"

To my surprise, pretty miss-

Got excited vakutanga kundirova rova hanzi hey look he's coming to say hi. I lost my shit and said "aye you think this some commercial masked dancer? Nah fam this one is cultural and I'm convinced we done pissed his ass by our mere presence here. It's coming to whoop ass!"

"Relax man he about to give us close range entertainment. Where's your sense of adventure? Plus if he tries anything funny you'll get him with your karate moves, there's nothing your brown belt skills can't take" Right, ndakaona kuti "I've been told a lot about you" iya ka

Ndainge ndachekereswa naJunior vafambisa bepa risiriro and manyepo aye ainge ozobuda manje. Ipapo ndandapama1 zvekuti ndakatanga kudhomoka ndichitaura imwe broken English ndichida kungoti babe wanyeperwa ngatitize.Karate futi

vadzimu vangu ndakavamakisa kani ipapo

Rakati rasvika zvino zigure raioneka kuti zindimba nemumadhende imomo ndobva ratanga kundipusha pusha manje apa ini nekusada kumakiswa ndakudzorera mapush aye ndichiudza babe kuti go get in the bus for safety ko ndaidefender zvakawanda ka panguva iyoyo. Kuti potential bae

Kwoti brown belt rumor kwoti futi my life ahhh. In my mind I knew I was going to be beaten chaizvo kana kufa kwaiva possible. None of my niggas wanted this chigure smoke so they all distanced themselves from this drama and watched from a distance as my few hours of glory -

Were tragically coming to an end in a way which was somehow funny

yeah right. Ndakazopiwa chibhakera mudumbu ndo pandakaona unogona kuzosvika kumba wamutumbi. Ndakangokanda one strong chibhakera chekudzorera zvekuti dai ndakawedzera effort mbijana ndaiuraya chigure -

Madhende akadonha nechimunhu chawo zvese pakaitika ka silence pamashops paya vanhu vakabata miromo ini ndakufunga kuti ndauraya chigure. Pachakapfakanyika ndakabva ndatanga kuzvinzwa masimba manje kuti ndapaza benzi. Ndakarova chistep chekwaLebron chiya ndakananga ku bus-

I thought I had instilled fear ka ndikaisa order pazvigure izvo mukuru vasara vachimuka zvavo vakunyatsoda kundirova zvekusiya rava guva. Ndakanzwa noise manje ndakatanga kuzvibigger kuti chibaba chasanitizer gure man nechibhakera system ikaenda pa lockdown

Ndakazocheuka ndo pandakaona kuti my five minutes of fame pa Epworth dzakanga dzapera. Mukuru vanga vakatobata chitsvimbo clan rese richivateera rakauya kubus. At this moment handina kufunga, I had used the FIGHT HORMONE before so you know yakange ya sara yacho biologically

.

Ndakavhura rimwe bara ndakutungamira hangu neroad because dai ndakapinda mubus I was going to have the blood of 20+ people on my hands courtesy of Ayesha of course and Junior for setting me up with her. Dramatic stupid girl. Smh

I won't lie, ndakamhanya. Zvigure zvaifamba izvi but kwete kuzondipfuura ka ini I had a lot to lose dai ndakabatwa. As I was running I was literally praying kuti pasawane anodedzera kuti mbavha because zvaidhakwa. I'm sure I was shedding tears too in the process

Ndakarova road vakandisiira panekamwe kachikoro Kari pa intersection so vaneta but ini semunhu ane work ethic iri on steroids ndakaramba ndichirova paside dzamara ndakanobata mashops arikuchi area che Queen'sDale kuya ko hapana ka.

Ndakanogara munekamwe kabottle store so ndobva ndangoerekana nda order quart re Castle Lager. Ndakariisa pamuromo ka one ndikazobvisa rave mu half. Ndakatanga kunzwa brain kudzokedzana manje pachinguva ichocho phone ndobva yarira. Junior vachibvunza kuti ko comrade-

Muripi tikutorei ndobva ndangoti mira ndikande location. Ndandisingade zvekusasa panguva iyoyo ndaigaya zvakawanda apa doro rakatanga kupinda mumusoro. Pasina time bus ranga rasvika ndobva ndabhadhara bill rangu ka ko mazuva iwayo raingoita ma $1.50 iwaya(good ol'days)

Ndakanoti ndichipinda mubus wanike mwana wevanhu arikuchema ndobva andimhanyira. Ipapo ndaiti rega ndinyarare but ndakazongoona ndakumutuka neshona baba ndichibatanidzira nemafia rangu rese kuti randisiya sei pamadhiri akadai. "Ko dai ndafa maidii mese imi anabharanzi nxa"

Ndakagara pasi ndobva bus rasimuka manje ndachiller paye. Mwana akungoti "I'm truly sorry hey I didn't think they were that dangerous" " Haaa ndairiputitsa rese mafia riya rinojaira vanhu mhani!" Ndakadaro ndobva munhu wese abvaruka zvake nekuseka because I was out of touch-

With reality zvekudaro kwangova kutaura kweapotswa

I won't lie ndakamhanya zvekuti i was doing that Usain Bolt sprint on some Mo Farah marathon chaiyo in the most consistent way ever seen.

As I look back ndongoona kuti unnecessary pressure dzatozvipa tichida ku impresser dzakadhakwa mhani

itori near death experience ka iyi apa pese pandozvifunga ndokuvara ne PTSD

PS: Don't ask me what happened to Ayesha after this. Whatever happened happened OKAY

Ladies and Gentlemen, Ayesha

But ungatoti ndingarove zvigure ne brown belt re kyokshin iwewe hindava uchingobvuma zvese zvese mhani. I know you out there come pick your sub

The end

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