THREAD: As I sit here hemorrhaging followers for the 2nd time in 3 months, I’m going to say something I feel is important. I didn’t have the tools or resilience to before. But now I do. And it needs to be because what keeps happening on social is a symptom of a larger issue.

The last time this happened, it nearly ended my life. Not because I lost followers or people were upset with me, but because it got SO BIG and out of control at a time when my mental health was extremely poor. Today? Don’t care. Unfollow away.

Background: Today I posted a short supportive tweet about Kamala Harris being chosen as VP. I did so 100% because she’s a woman of color and I was SO excited about that.

I had forgotten she was very pro-prison (gross) and had no idea of her history with transphobia.

In response, I got yelled at, accused of being pro-cop and of being transphobic/purposely celebrating a transphobic person despite having two trans family members I literally have spent years openly supporting. And then, of course, I lost a bunch of followers.

Thankfully, a few people took the time to explain why they find her to be a problematic choice for VP. I learned a lot. Thank you! It was helpful.

But when I corrected my excitement with new information, I was accused of lying about not knowing about it & back peddling. Sigh.

I’m Canadian. I’m not super plugged into US politics. And even though I do try and keep up with trans-related news, I sometimes miss stuff. Even bigger stuff.

But that doesn’t matter. What matters is this common knee-jerk response to anyone posting anything, always, ever.

Not once did anyone say “Hey, can I ask why you’re excited about Harris?” I would have told them "She's a woman of color!"

Then, in this healthier scenario, they would have pointed out some issues and I would have learned that way. No harm done.

But the former scenario happens over and over on the internet -especially Twitter. We react with worst-case scenario ideas before checking in. We call out loudly and angrily. We assume the worst about people. It’s toxic. Really toxic.

But even suggesting that leads to accusations of tone policing. But it isn’t so much dictating someone’s tone as understanding the consequences of our actions and reactions. We CAN all react the way we want, but we might not get the results we want.

There is a time and place for swift reactions. Any racism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-Semitism, etc needs to be denounced.

But it’s a big leap to go from "KAMALA!!!!" to “You are pro-cop and transphobic.” Sometimes people just DON’T KNOW. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

As an example, I talked to someone about this earlier & said “It’s like if someone posted a funny clip of Louis CK and had no idea what he did and got yelled at” and she, usually very informed said “What did he do?”

She's a feminist. SHE DID NOT KNOW. She missed that news cycle.

I want us to create change. Real change. I want us to work together to do that. But if we keep splintering off into these tiny groups over big disagreements that could have been smaller discussions, we won’t get anywhere. We’ll just be hurt, angry and distrustful of one another.

People’s mental health is terrible right now. Some people react angrily because of it, others do what I did and get severely depressed and suicidal. No, no one else is responsible for another's actions, but we are a community and we need to cultivate empathy for each other.

This won’t be a popular opinion. I expect an uproar, frankly. That’s fine. I believe we need to be using more empathy and leaving room for more nuance. That’s the community I want to grow. I'm going to lead with love, even if I have to do all by myself.

Cheers.