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Do the opposite of what they want. Your role now is to offer nothing but grinding transactional friction. To misplace documents. To stretch out meetings, recursively soliciting ever finer gradients of consensus. To ask questions or to tell long stories. To mislay or miskey goods
To ignore or intentionally but plausibly misconstrue orders, or take them too literally, like Amelia Bedilia. Turn a tap and leave the room, puncture a hole, disappear keys to work vehicles and machinery. Wherever possible, aid conspiracy, real or imagined. Over-document things.
Be overly concerned with safety and rules. Share and spread lies. Assist or overlook political back stabbing or jockeying. Sabotage surveillance equipment discreetly. DO NOT PLAN WITH OTHERS. DO NOT LEAVE ELECTRONIC FOOTPRINTS. Call the police with bogus suspicions and tips.
File anonymous complaints wherever possible, against the most loyal or productive on your work team. Get non aligned people disciplined or fired for illegitimate reasons. Be highly positive. Enjoy work. Cultivate confidences with your superiors, make them trust you as a snitch.
Where there are machines, surreptitiously miscalibrate them. Where there is coolant or gas, release it. Where there are goods to chill, sabotage the device by either disabling it, leaving it breached at the door, or confounding its thermostat. Where there are timers, reset them.
Slash open goods that must stay sealed. Have automotive trouble at peak commute hours. Send anonymous notes threatening blackmail or violence to immediate and loyal figures of authority. Be helpful with the investigation. Lay the blame on a person unconnected with you.
Introduce doubt into any chain of custody you can safely influence, whether it be information or supply lines. Require the process to start over again for fear of taint, leak, or miscommunication. Take papers from your workplace and destroy them whenever this might inconvenience.
Over and understock wherever you can to what extremes you can manage. Misrepresent the interests of your establishment to distributors when they visit, misrepresent the information from your distributor when reporting or recording it. Clog bathroom drains; there will be no camera
Report false rumors to superiors, of theft, mismanagement, false invitations to unionize, of some overheard outside actors skulking and planning to steal or sabotage. Trip in the store, fall against displays. Damage merchandise. Increase shrinkage.
