I've used this space more than I ever planned to talk about the politics of pregnancy, because I believe everything about the act of being pregnant (or not) is political, but I wanted to briefly share a personal reflection for anyone out there who could benefit from reading it.

Last year on this day, I unexpectedly went into labor at 22 weeks, 6 days, and we lost our first child. Today, I had my 34-week appt for my second pregnancy and was informed that I'm far enough along that if I went into labor, doctors would not delay it based on fetal development

This past year has been a long one, and I could not have predicted any part of it, from our initial loss to a global pandemic. But I have learned a lot—about myself, my relationships, and the transformative power of honesty in experience to move forward with our lives.

For a year, I've said the quiet parts out loud, despite what I believe to be societal norms to keep losses secret. As the nation goes through a massive period of grieving because of COVID-19—both collectively and for the relatives of 160K Americans—I think about this a lot.

I was surprised that even acknowledging my first pregnancy was radical—my paperwork for this pregnancy lists it as my "first" and when I asked if there was a medical reason, I was told it's just because most women prefer it that way.

Being matter-of-fact about which pregnancy this is or that we experienced loss at all sometimes creates awkward silences. But more important, it's created a space for people to share their stories, sometimes for the first time, sometimes decades after the fact.

There are plenty of people who go through life and pretty much within the margin of error get what they want when they want it. I'd like to think that I already was a pretty empathetic person, but I also believe I've in some ways become more so because of this experience.

There's no right way to feel, though people will try to tell you there is. There's no right way to grieve, though people will try to tell you that, too. And the kindest thing you can do for you is to allow yourself to feel multiple things at once without guilt or reservation.

I'm going to get off my soapbox now. But whatever you're carrying quietly #inthesetimes, I hope you can find peace with it and move forward.

Also: I still haven't heard from @GOPLeader, and I've done a lot in this past year. What's he done?