MY LAYCON/ERICA EXPERIENCE

I once had a crush on my WAEC GCE seat mate. Of all the guys in the centre, I was the only guy she conversed with. I thought we had an understanding and felt in a matter of days we will be officially dating. It ended in tears.

Brethren, Issa thread.

Let me tell you guys how it all began.

It was the first paper of WAEC GCE exams. The Exam centre was Edgerly memorial, Calabar to be precise. I remember spotting this beauty from the balcony.

She was yellow like Nengi, with all assets firmly placed in the right positions. Being a boobs guy, her dangling watermelons made me lose focus as she cat-walked. I was 16 as at then, but easily recognised the work of God on women.

I watched the eyes of other guys on the balcony follow her as she ascended the stairs.
To my greatest surprise, she waved at me. I looked behind just incase she was waving at another person, but she pointed at me and walked towards my direction.

I was nervous, but had to man up as she stood right in front of me.
“Hi! Is this the hall we’ll be writing our exams?” She asked pointing at the class behind me.
“It depends on your seat number on the photo card. What’s your seat number?” I asked.
“284.” She responded.

“Wow! mine is 283!” I grinned.
“That makes us seat mates. By the way, I’m Jessica.” She said stretching her hands.
“I’m Femi. Nice to meet you.”

We got talking for a long time. I realised it was her 3rd GCE attempt. She needed Maths and physics.
For me, I was fresh out of high School awaiting my SSCE result. I had registered for external, just in case.

The First paper was Biology practicals. 30minutes into the exams, I heard her whisper my name.
“Femi, please help me.”
“Which number?” I asked.
“Just help me with everything.”
I observed she was totally blank and had not written anything.

There’s a special feeling that hits you when the most beautiful girl in the Exam centre begs your help.
I opted to help her by telling her what to write but she was only interested in swapping her answer sheet with mine.

I had never taken such risk before and I didn’t want her first impression of me to be bad.
Put yourself in my position what will you do?

I decided to do the unthinkable.

I finished answering my questions and flung my answer sheet to her table before the invigilator could notice. The sound of the flying papers made him turn.

At this point I didn’t have any answer sheet with me while she had 2. He started walking towards us. My heart skipped.

Behold

Wait for it

someone’s phone began to ring in the hall. He changed direction to the persons seat and seized the phone. While the drama ensued at the other location of the hall, she was able to send her papers to my seat. I could feel the adrenaline ease.

I began writing for her. When I was done, we swapped our papers smoothly on our way to submit.

As we exited the hall, she gave me a tight hug. The warmth of her fleshy mesophyll on my chest sent shockwaves to my brain.

Hugging her in front of the Exam centre raised my status. I believed I had successfully hooked the hottest girl in the centre.

We continued the process of swapping papers till we successfully mastered the art. After each paper, I got my usual tight hugs. But i needed something more. At 16, I wanted a relationship with her even though she was 3years older than me.

I fantasised about her each time I got home till I started seeing her in my dreams. I thought of ways to pour out my mind but each time I saw her my heart failed me.

I made up my mind to pour out my mind after helping her pass her physics exams. I studied harder than ever before for the exams and believed helping her will make her easily accept me. I had rehearsed the magic words to tell her. Leonardo Di Carpio had nothing on me.

On this fateful day of physics exams, I looked very sharp in my best clothes, sharp haircut with side parting and extra cash for our 1st date. She looked extra glamorous as ever. I was surprised to see her on make up. it was as if she was expecting my proposal that day.

“Femi, today is a very important day for me. I’m putting all my hopes on you. Don’t fail me.” She begged.
“I got you jessica.” I grinned.

we entered the hall.
The questions were easier than ever before. so easy that I finished solving my theory in less than 30minutes. We did the usual paper swap and everything was smooth.

As we exited the hall, she couldn’t stop thanking me.

“All that is left is mathematics and i’m free from the shackles of WAEC. Thank you Femi” she screamed in excitement.”

As I held her hands to pour out my rehearsed lines, she interrupted me by brandishing a brand new Sagem V55 and begged me to put pictures and music on it via infrared.

I was more than happy to do so.

I began transferring the songs to her phone via infrared. As I watched our phones kiss on the desk, I wished it was our lips. In the midst of that fantasy something that changed my orientation happened.

She received a text message from a contact named Bobby.
She asked me to give her the phone cos she needed to reply the text message urgently. Giving her the phone will stop the transfer so I begged her to exercise patience.

She looked so excited and couldn’t wait. She asked if she could open it while it was transferring. Before I could give her a reply, she opened the message.

Behold.

It read.

“Baby girl, hope you’re enjoying the new phone. Message me when you’re done with exams so I can pick you. I love you.”

My heart sank.

She giggled in excitement.
“Can I reply him?” she asked.

“Yes. but you’ll need to type with the phones very close and on the desk.” I said wryly.

“Ok. help me reply him. my nails won’t help me type with the phones on the desk.”

“What do you want me to type?” I asked with a puzzled look.

“Type ‘I’m done with exams baby, I love you too.’” she said.

my reaction.

My heart sank further.

If you were in my situation what will you do?

“Jessica, I’m in love with you.” I struggled to say.

She burst into uncontrollable laughter, Stopped, looked at me again and began another bout of laughter.

“Femi, Tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m serious Jessica. I really love you.” I said again. this time more convincingly as I knelt down begging.

She laughed again. my reaction.

“Femi, I’m mentally attracted to you. But physically… No! Look at me and look at you. Haba now, you’re not in my league. You don’t need a soothsayer to tell you.”

My heart broke. I struggled to hold the tears that wanted to come out but failed to control it.

I felt the ground will open so I can bury myself alive.

She rubbed the top of my head as though she was consoling her younger brother who complained of his missing biscuit, then picked up her phone and messaged the guy.

In a matter of minutes, A Silver benz 190 drove in.
A macho guy stepped out and waved at Jessica.

He was in his late 20s. I’m not gonna lie, the guy was clean. I was no match for him.

She ran downstairs like a Creche kid who just saw her daddy.

I was more heartbroken to see her kiss the guy passionately and enter the car.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked out of the exam centre. It began to rain shortly after. The painful thing was seeing them drive past as I trekked under the rain.

I felt used like a toilet paper.
If I had cursed them for 600 years, It would have caught them instantly.

I trekked from Edgerly memorial to Eta-Agbor round about under then rain without the zeal to enter any Taxi. If you know Calabar very well, You’d know how far i trekked. On 2 occasions, I almost got knocked down by a car.

When I got home, I entered my room and cried like a baby. I even refused dinner.

That day I learnt a very important lesson.

“Intelligence will attract your crush but you need cash and swag to keep them. Secondly, if you make your crush the centre of your happiness she will crush you when she rejects you.
Work hard and focus on yourself. When you have achieved certain things, na them go rush you.”

LET'S CONTINUE.

The next paper was mathematics and I needed to focus, it was difficult motivating myself to read at first but gradually anger pushed me to study harder than ever before.

MATHS EXAM DAY.

I arrived the venue when everyone was already seated to avoid the usual conversation with Jessica before exams.
She smiled as I sat.
“My Guru! You got me worried. I thought you wouldn’t come.” She said.

I gave her a wry smile and began to write as soon as they shared my answer booklet. 40minutes had passed and she was waiting for the usual paper swap.

“Femi! Femi!” She whispered repeatedly.
I acted deaf.

10 minutes later she changed her tone.
“Femi darl, please help me” She whispered.

I could sense panic in her voice.

“You have an innocent heart and i know you can’t disappoint me. Femi, help me. I need this paper more than anything.” she begged.

I raised my paper for her to see how well I had written and still acted deaf to her pleas.

“You can’t claim you love me and treat me this way.” she said trying to guilt trip me.

Hard guy started losing concentration and getting emotional.

I turned to look at her face for the first time and saw tears stream down her eyes. Maths had kept her from gaining admission for 3 years and I was the key to saving her.

At this point what will you do.

To be honest, I didn’t know when I stretched my hands to help her.
I was at the verge of swapping my papers when she said
“I know money is your problem. How much do you need, my boyfriend will pay you.”

Instantly, my heart became hardened like Pharaoh.

She passed her papers to me and begged me to send mine. “Don’t worry, My Bobby will treat you fine.” She said.
Anger welled up in me. I didn’t know where I summed up the courage to do the unthinkable.

Brethren,

“Invigilator, this lady is disturbing me!” I screamed.

Her reaction.

“Sir, I am not disturbing him.” She lied.

“Then what is your answer booklet doing on my desk.” I yelled raising it up.

The invigilator approached us and ordered her to seat in front with him.

“Femi, you are Wicked! God will Judge you!” She cried out.

“Don’t disturb God. Na Femi say mek you no read your book?” The invigilator said.

Everyone burst into laughter.

when I was done, I submitted my answer booklet.

As I descended the staircase, I saw Bobby seated on his Benz 190 combing his goatee beard.

My reaction.

“You will come back here next year & wait for her.” I said to him and chuckled.

The fresh guy was puzzled.

***THE END***

Seeing what Erica did to Laycon yesterday made me remember what I went through with Jessica.

He should take this advice and Man up!
iCONS mek your guy no lose concentration.
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