Why does the term assigned at birth tick me off so much when a trans person uses it? The perspective of a misdiagnosed intersex woman, a

My parents were misled about everything involving me, I was cut open having gonadal tissue removed due to my father's fear of losing me like he lost my brother and the overwhelming guilt of my mom being in critical. They were supposed to follow me up for a 2nd surgery and checkup

My mom recovered and opposed the surgery, knowing something was off and that my father was being manipulated through his ignorance and emotions. This led to my initial assignment being re-evaluated and the plan changed.

My parents were given no guidance, information or resources about raising an intersex child. My mother frantically searched but couldn't find anything, especially with how "different" I was physically and personality wise from my sisters. She was lost and confused about it.

She found out based on my diagnosis and the operation my father approved that now I wouldn't go through puberty, she was angry at my father for this and continued trying to find anything, eventually giving up due to the lack of awareness and resources. Trying to "wing it."

Mom had planned to take me to see a doctor when my classmates started to go through puberty, but at the same time one of my father's friends came out as transsexual and he started to confide in her about his intersex daughter and how different I was, he didn't know what to do.

This trans woman heard that I was very rambunctious as a kid and had aggression issues. I was also into tech and "nerd" things which was "odd for a girl." His friend convinced him to talk to my mother about letting me pick because she would have loved to choose growing up.

My father questioned his friend if something bad would happen if I were left to not go through puberty and his friend made it sound harmless. So he pushed these lies to my mother who couldn't really find evidence suggesting otherwise. The plan to take me to a doctor was canceled.

His friend proceeded to put into his head that I was possibly a trans kid. A boy trapped in an intersex girl's body and that I should be given a fair chance to determine myself. How my father would have blood on his hands if they chose me to grow up a girl and I didn't like it.

I was different but I didn't know why. I was smaller then the other kids, I got sick easier and I was weaker too. These differences only intensified as we got older. I grew fearful of having periods and going through what the other girls were going through, but nothing ever came.

As the boys in general started to change too, now I was the only one who looked like a child. I started to do worse in school, couldn't keep up with my classes. I couldn't keep awake and got sick ridiculously easily. My mother started to think I was just depressed and being moody

I'd ask her if I was going to have a period, if something was wrong with me. "Nothing is wrong with you! You're just... a late bloomer is all." I grew isolated, started to lose my friends due to everyone being freaked out at how I wasn't changing much. Picked on too.

"Late bloomer." I heard this any time I asked a question. I knew I was different from the other girls due to my interests, my expression and the fact I hated some of the things they liked doing. I felt less and less like my classmates and school became a nightmare to attend.

Mom would bring up to my father that I keep asking about my period and if they should just ask me if I want to be a boy or a girl. He told her I have to figure this out myself and that I'll just answer what I think I'm supposed to be. Then he scared her with "blood on your hands"

Still stuck in a child-like body, I grew up growing resentful and hateful. I became suicidal, I was cutting myself and hiding my cuts from my classmates because they'd just bully me more. I lost interest in everything, I'd cry, sleep and curse myself as a freak who is different.

"Freak." "Girl Peter Pan" - "anyone who does anything with you is a future pedo!" Kids were cruel. I had lost all my friends, I was different and I didn't want to be. I gave up asking my parents anything, they wouldn't tell me anything. No one would tell me anything.

I was sick all the time, I couldn't keep up with the other kids and I was hurt extremely easily. I became very aware of my frailty when I slipped and fell and fractured my knee off a fall. I was told to drink lots of milk, take these calcium supplements..! But it changed nothing.

I'd even have moments where if I got startled I'd start coughing so hard that I'd start spitting up blood. I felt weak and grew envious of the boys especially because they could just go on, and on and on. I had no energy, I was different.. I was a freak. I wasn't "normal."

Arguably I didn't grow up a girl, I grew up intersex.. I grew up neglected and I was abused because of the lack of information and awareness about bodies that don't match the norm. Yes I grew up with female focused "care" but I was different, I had those fears and no one told me.

No one told me I was assigned a sex at birth, that I had gonadal tissue removed from my body could have been functioning and allowed me to go through puberty normally. That it took me until my mid 20s to even confirm I was intersex, losing my own identity in the process...

The average person has their sex observed at birth with those of us who fall into the more ambiguous, or not so neat standards of genitalia being cut open and surgically reformed. Some of us having this hidden from us until we're adults and can find out ourselves.

LGBTQIA... The I might as well not be there, discovering I was intersex myself led to being used as a prop by that community and lied to about my own body that I lived and suffered in for years. I still don't know everything about it. I probably never will.

To see trans people and their allies so casually claim to be assigned boils my blood. To use it to validate themselves. You know how much I wish I was just left alone, or at the very least my parents could have been informed better? So I could have grown up like everyone else?

I absolutely hate the words: "Normal", "Fix", "Repair."

I heard them so much in my life. You're not normal, we can fix you. You can be repaired. I'm not a machine, I'm not something that needs fixed. I should have been left alone.

Trans people do not know what it's like to be assigned unless they were intersex themselves and in those cases it's debatable whether they're even trans.

Seeing this whole assigned co-opt, intersex overlap with nonbinary just makes me dread for future kids like me with DSDs.

You know how much I wish I was just "observed" at birth? Of course you don't. Many of them take for granted the fact they grew up without feeling like they were wrong, or freaks because of their bodies. Their body just went into the "wrong puberty."

The fact they want to subject other kids to this Hell, just makes me even more sick to my stomach. Sure I never took puberty blockers technically, but they replicate what my mutilated body does.