Once again I am begging everyone to learn the difference between a temper tantrum and a meltdown

A grown adult screaming abuse because they don’t like being told they should wear a mask is not a meltdown, it’s a temper tantrum.

A meltdown is an involuntary systemic response to sensory stimuli.
A temper tantrum is based in emotion and could (often should) be controlled, especially when it’s an adult getting angry about being asked to help keep other people safe.

The reason this is important is because, if everyone assumes meltdown = tantrum, then when autistic and other ND people talk about having meltdowns (an involuntary response to sensory overstimulation) we get told we need to learn how to control our temper!

(This isn’t to say that meltdowns can’t be triggered by strong emotions. Panic triggers meltdowns for me. But it’s not a tantrum - it’s a result of my body getting overstimulated by the neurophysical panic response)

“Snap out of it/pull yourself together!” can sometimes work on a temper tantrum. I can’t snap out of a meltdown. I have zero control over it. My body stops Doing That when it has decided that the overstimulation is now finished or lessened enough to be bearable.

How fast I come out of the meltdown depends largely on whether I am in a place that is safe and quiet or in an environment that will continue to overstimulate me. Spouse is very good at helping me but at the end of the day neither of us has much control over how long it lasts.