Besides the other obvious reasons, part of the problem with being adopted into an abusive household is the amount of times people defend "good" adoptions at me.

Maybe if I hadn't sustained years of unrelenting abuse I'd have a more chipper disposition in regards to adoption.

Like, really? That's the takeaway?

I couldn't even consider the implications of how I felt about being adopted outside of abuse for years because I had to work through so much trauma to even *have* feelings.

At the end of that all I figured was the separation, the loss of origins, the lack of citizenship, the loss of identity ...

All that would still be here even if they had been a delightful family... but they weren't.

And even though they displayed clear red flags well before adoption that they in fact were not going to be a loving capable home... they were still allowed to adopt.

So pardon me for daring to have an opinion about "being placed" in an abusive home.

But no, its unlikely that abuse alone is the engine for my issues within the adoption systems... albeit an issue nonetheless.

So, at no point, ever... will I be good with the "but not all adoptions have abusive APs."

Do you really think I don't fucking know that?

It's odd, considering if I state I escaped an abusive romantic relationship... which I did... people have yet never informed me they don't abuse their partner.. so I need to hold up "both sides."

Why protect abusive adopters?

Is the theoretical *Adoption* conversation so fragile that even a whiff of something awry has to be met with, "sorry you had a bad experience but not all...."

When I say I'm sick of it, know that's what I say because I'm at a total loss here.