Live tweeting Flynn hearing tweeted in alternative English:

Court: Sit yo asses down.

Flynn’s lawyer: Gov is a nasty bitch. And that judge did some shady ass shit. Let my person go!

Court: I’m a gonna ask you some fancy-ass questions.

Flynn’s lawyer: I got this.

Court: Have you ever seen crazy ass shit like this before?

Flynn’s lawyer: OH HELLLL NO!

Court: We’re gonna send more judges at ya. You said you got this, so let’s see, biiiiitch.

Flynn’s lawyer: I’m a gonna slay this.

Court: We gonna try to spike yo ass.

Flynn’s lawyer: that judge ain’t no king, he gotta follow the law. You ain’t got shit on me!

Court: Why why why Why why why Why!?

Flynn’s lawyer: Cause I don’t let dem lil king-wannabe judges get away wit it.

Court: I wanna make that judge yo king tho.

Flynn’s lawyer: motherfuckers. ova my dead body.

Court: I’m a gonna bore yo ass to death. See how you like dat.

Flynn’s lawyer: YO. What you talkin bout?! I chop up an inhale dis motion shit, fo shizzle my nizzle.

Court: biiiiiiiitch.

Flynn’s lawyer: y’all need to dismiss dis shit. It done.

Court: Nah. Let’s keep going. I wanna play dirty. How’s about some nuns. Oh mama.

Flynn’s lawyer: I ain’t playin with dat shit.

Court: How about I get yo ass a new Daddy?

Flynn’s lawyer: I’m game.

Court: Fish. Milk.

Flynn’s lawyer: ...

Court: Aight. I’m done.

Court: nah, just kiddin. I’m a never gonna shut up.

Flynn’s lawyer:

Flynn’s lawyer: dis judge, he’s a bad hombre.

Court: ...

Court: Gonna ask yo ass a yeh or nah.

Flynn’s lawyer: Who you think you are?!

Court: I SAID YEH OR NAH, BITCH.

Flynn’s lawyer: Yeh.

Court: Final thought - can dat judge king get away with dis shit?

Flynn’s lawyer: Oh hellll nah.

Gov lawyer: y'all like my fancy threads? I got dis Hugo Boss suit to feel all fresh and shit.

Anyway, we don’t wanna play wit dis Flynn guy no more. I think we mighta got caught cheatin an shit.

Gov lawyer: I really like sayin Fokker.

Court: #metoo

Court: Did y'all do your homework? I told ya ass to do it.

Gov lawyer: The dog ate my homework? Aight I’ll try.

Court: y’all high as shit. I’m a gonna join you. Gonna take a hit.

Gov lawyer: DO EEET. I’ll cover for ya.

Gov lawyer: Probing. Ha! I said probing!

Court: Aight I’m gonna pass the mic to the guy who hasn’t taken hit yet.

Gov lawyer: Fokker. Fokker. Fokker.

Court: Whoa mama.

Gov lawyer: FOKKER! FOKKER! FOKKER! FOKKER!

Court:

Court: Needed dat cat nap. But now we gotta get back to this shit. So were y'all workin on dat case an shit or just playin?

Gov lawyer: I dunno. I’m a gonna use some big words now. MAN-DAT-ASS! I mean mandamus. Biiiiitch.