a thread of what happened 2 me at inpatient

====BACKSTORY===

ok so i was hospitalized on december 11th around 4:30 pm because i tried to kill myself, my mom walked in on it and drove me to the hospital. i had been struggling w depression for years before but this was my first treatment.

once we got there, they asked why i was there, transferred me to the psych waiting room (they had better security n monitoring so u cant kill yourself there) and i waited w my mom for abt 3 hrs till a nurse spoke w us. they checked out my neck and did some x rays to make sure-

nothing was severly damaged, then, i explained everything what happened and why i did it with a doctor. then we waited approx 4 hours till a psychiatrist came (it was like 11 when she came i think ?) and she asked me if i wrote a note, how i felt, if anyone in my family has any-

mental illnesses. eventually, they decided it would b best if i was hospitalized. it was around 1 am when this happened. the security guards walked me down to the psych ward, and i was given a list of rules (i'll get into those l8r) and they took me into a side room, made me-

strip to my underwear, checked me for razors and to look for cuts, gave me some hospital clothes, and then my mom was talking w the nurse abt everything in the room i would b staying in so i just had 2 eat some cookies and wait, it was around 2 am when my mom left n i could sleep

in the morning, everyone was in the waiting area getting their food (u were called out by ur room number not ur name lol) and i was given a schedule for the day. this girl diana was talking to me and she later turned out to be rlly violent and messed up because of a fentanyl od

after breakfast, i was taken to group for the day where they talked abt doing drugs n depression, and then we were sent to our rooms till around 12 when we would start school for 3 hours,, then we could do whatever till around 8, and visiting started at 6

====THA RULES====

i wasnt allowed to smoke, swear, or be rude/violent to staff/patients. they had a no-touching rule to prevent hooking up and nobody was allowed in ur room. if u broke the rules, you could have ur visiting hours revoked (i never had that) and the staff would b

a lot harder on u, u also werent allowed to have an alarm clock so i had my friend steal me one lmao. one time these kids started a food fight and we all were sent to our rooms for 3 hours, so they werent very fair lol. u had to do some writing but the staff could read it so :/

if you were rlly violent, you were sent to this room that had nothing in it, i was never in it but diana was, and they would shut off the lights and she had a panic attack in there, all while she was in handcuffs/restraints. the staff ignored her cries for help and mocked her

====SOME EXPERIENCES THAT STOOD OUT====
i wasnt put on medication till they found out i couldnt sleep without it, and the nurses would switch up my meds w other ppls sometimes. you could only watch shit like spongebob and gumball and this girl switched it to a show on police-

brutality and the staff yelled at her. i got in trouble w my friends for standing in a corner because the staff thought we were gonna run away. on my final day, i was allowed my shoes back, and i stomped around the entire time lol i was allowed to go to the cafeteria w my fam tho

i rlly got more trauma from being in the hospital, and i received little to no support the time i spent there. i was only there for a week, but i still get nightmares from it. i refuse to get help out of the fear of going there again.

end of thread .